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"Ah, sor-ry. I accidentally brought your backpack, Ese-kun."
She casually tossed the black randoseru slung over her shoulder. The distance was short and the force was strong, so I failed to catch it, and my hands sent the randoseru bouncing away. It hit a small box behind me, packed with stopwatches, scattering its contents. Hamana, of course, didn't move, so I crouched down and cleaned up the scattered gym equipment. In the process, I inhaled the dusty air and choked twice.
When I picked up the randoseru after cleaning, it was light, clearly not fulfilling its duties at all.

"Liar."
"Yep."
"It's fine. I didn't look inside, didn't touch anything, didn't put anything in."
"...Oh, right." I'll have to go back to the classroom to get my textbooks again. How many times does this make?
"You were sweating all the way out here, holding my backpack?"
I added a light jab, calling her someone with too much time on their hands. Hamana played dumb to return the sarcasm.
"I told you, it wasn't on pur-pose. I didn't notice at a-all. Totally clueless."
It felt less like Hamana was bullying me and more like she was testing me.
It was like she was seeking some kind of interaction with me, which was strange.

"What were you going to do if I'd just gone home?"
"Then I would've delivered it to your place, Ese-kun, like, 'Here's something you forgot!'"
Hamana said flippantly, spreading her hands towards the ceiling as if to emphasize her openness.
"Yeah, that's a lie. I would've just left it in the classroom again. Oh, right, right, how was the bug locker? Was it buggy?"
"This is what happened," I said, showing her the remains still under my fingernails. Hamana craned her neck slightly inside the shed, squinting, and when she finally realized what it was, she recoiled with a disgusted "Ugh." "You're okay with bugs and stuff, Ese-kun?"
"You look like you've touched dead bodies before. Gross!"
Hamana shivered theatrically, as if she'd caught a chill.

It seemed like the conversation was over, so I decided to take my leave.
"Ah, hey—"
How should I explain to my aunt why I'm late getting home? Got lost on the way... hmm, that might be a bit of a stretch. "Ese-kun, you're pretty short, huh?"
At first, I stopped because I was curious about who this "Ese-kun" was. That's a lie, though.
After she called out "E-se-kun" again, I turned around, readjusted my backpack, and stared at Hamana. Resting her chin in her hand, her elbow on her thigh, Hamana looked up at a point slightly above my head and smiled, looking amusedly bored.
"Ese-kun, you're older than me, right? But you're tiny."
"...I think you're just tall, Hamana-san."
I tried having a proper conversation for the first time. I pretended to be surprised that we could actually, you know, communicate. That's a lie too, though.

"You can just call me by my name. Or, Toue."
"...Toue?" The dopey pronunciation that came out of my own mouth.
"It's my name. You still haven't remembered it, have you?"
"That's not true." I just never knew it in the first place.
"Ese-kun, you don't have any friends you call by their first name, do you?"
"Nope."
"Then, am I the only one?"
"The only what?"

"Ese-kun's friend."
"...The only what?"
I threw the same words back at her twice in a row, but with a different meaning.
Toue, who didn't understand the implication, got down from the vaulting horse, her skirt flipping up a bit. "Well then, I'll think of something else for tomorrow!" she said, using an uncommon 'see you tomorrow' greeting, and swept past me.
"...Huh?"
I didn't want to see her off, but I ended up watching her go while I stood there, stunned.

The next day, what Toue had devised was my (or rather, since we hadn't exchanged them, Toue's) desk.
Apparently, she'd come to school first thing in the morning and hidden it before I arrived.
Incidentally, the desk was placed in the classroom of Class Two, next door. Toue, so careless and full of compromises.
And so, Toue seemed to spend her days having fun, showing off new "creations" one after another.
Other than that, well, wherever I walked in the classroom, someone would try to trip me; if I tried to go to the toilet, they'd grab me in a full nelson to stop me; solid food from lunch would be dropped on the floor once while being distributed, then stomped on vigorously with a "Ah, so busy, so busy!" before I was made to eat it; or they'd press a rag soaked in toilet bowl water against someone's face. It was that sort of thing—everyone around me seemed to be bullying me vaguely, as if it were a pastime, or rather, a duty. Akaike still seemed to be the most enthusiastic. For about two weeks, this half-bullying, half-experimentation repeated in a kind of rotation. School was neither boring nor fun; it just kept squirming and changing endlessly. And before I knew it, Toue had become pretty much the only person I talked to at school.
It wasn't a friendly relationship, nor was it positive, nor was it completely closed off. It was the result of inertia.

"I don't need the pool."
A girl who always sat out swimming class, hugging her knees, said it as if to herself.
July 14th. Fourth period, P.E., after lunch, lunch break, and cleaning time were over.
Without even going to the poolside, I was sitting in a small patch of shade on the outer side of the gym, my eyes following the splashes of water.
My pool gear had been hidden, so I was observing the class. Toue would probably give it back when it was over.

When I told the teacher I'd be observing, Toue looked displeased and taunted, "Why don't you just swim naked?" but I ignored her and sat quietly in the small patch of shade by the gym's outer wall, squinting at the kids splashing and yelling in the pool. The girl who was also observing was sitting next to me.
"Can't swim?" I tried to find a reason to ignore her, but couldn't come up with one, so I decided to talk to her. This girl didn't particularly bully me, so I didn't know her well—that was part of it. And since no one was paying attention to us right now, we could have a conversation without interruptions—that was another reason.

"Yeah. That's why I don't need to be in the water. It's scary."
The girl spoke matter-of-factly, unashamed of not being able to swim. But after saying it, her expression clouded over.
"Water is important, but I wish I could just clean away all the water in the world."
"That'd be difficult..." I couldn't even comprehend it.
"That's what I think, but my friend won't let me. She insists that next week, when summer vacation starts, we're going to the public pool for special swimming training, and she won't take no for an answer. She's super serious, all worried about what would happen if I fell in a river... It's none of her business... She can probably swim because her name has 'river' in it. Humans are land creatures, you know. Oh, but practicing on my bike, now that I think about it, that was a good thing..."

She grumbled on. I'd become part of the wall, a silent listener, but eventually, the girl seemed to realize the situation and changed the subject.
"Amano-kun, do you have any dreams for the future?"
"..." Being called by my old surname threw me off a little. "A hero."
"Huh... That's a lie, right?" Yep, she saw right through me. She looked slightly exasperated.
"It's true. 'A hero appears!' The kind of person who always shows up when you call... one wrong step and they're basically a stalker. A boy's dream."
"Hmm, so you read it too, Amano-kun. That table tennis manga."
"..." Busted.

"But Amano-kun, for you, making dreams come true... that's pretty much impossible now, huh?"
The girl looked at my face with a sleepy, expressionless gaze.
"Probably."
"Does that... make you feel anything?"
"...Not really. Even if you live a normal life, most dreams probably don't come true anyway."
I'd said something withered. Just like Koibi-sensei... though if I told her that, she'd probably punch me. The girl, while saying something like, "Well, yeah," tightened her arms around her knees a little.
Then, she turned her head to the left, the opposite direction from me.

"Ah, it's Misono-san."
I whipped my head sideways, fast enough to almost catch up to the sound waves of the girl's leisurely words.
A girl with a red randoseru on her back was just now being swallowed by the school building. Her reluctant feet occasionally stumbled as if she were about to fall, tracing an unsteady path like a drunkard.
It's Misono Mayu. I think I heard from someone that she developed a habit of sleeping a lot, so she's always late. Was it the teacher?

"Biwashima-saaan! If you stay near Ese-kun, you'll get killed!"
Both the girl and I, having our names called, turned our heads back to the standard direction.
Clinging to the pool fence and heckling us in that flippant tone was, as expected, Toue. She seemed to be having the time of her life, energetically denouncing me. Perhaps because of the distance, her voice was loud, as if she were excited.
The dripping water, swimsuit, and cap didn't suit her completely white skin at all.

"If Biwashima-san dies, Kaneko-kun will cry! Let's run away!"
She slapped the fence with her palms like a percussion instrument, hurling a jumble of commands and instructions at the girl. Her companions got excited by her words, while the teacher pretended to be busy with something and ignored it.
Far behind them, Kaneko was jumping and hopping around, like he was imitating Toue.

"Is she telling me to get away from you, Amano-kun?"
The girl asked me, her eyes fixed on Toue, seeking confirmation of her interpretation.
"Well, that's probably about right, I guess." Though I wanted to say, "How should I know?"
"A warn-ing to the homewrecker cat?"
"No, I mean, like I said, who knows, endlessly." Meaning unclear.
"Does Kaneko-kun... like me?"
"Even if you ask me, well..."
"Aren't you friends?"
"...I don't know. What are friends, anyway?" And why am I answering so seriously?

"Amano-kun, why do you come to school even though you're being bullied?"
As if she'd just asked it on a whim since she was already asking questions, a query from a completely different direction flowed in. I hesitated for a moment, wondering whether to act as a wall and deflect it, then let out my breath and voice at the same time.
"Because this is going to be my school."
From now on, I'm sure I'll continue to be treated like this.
Changing form, changing meaning, I'll be seen as the son of a criminal.
So, it's better to get used to it now. That's what you meant, isn't it, Auntie?
The girl paused with a "Hmm," then said honestly, "I don't get it at all."
Then, her gaze, which had been on Toue, shifted to me.
"Hamana-san... she likes you, doesn't she, Amano-kun?"

"Huh?" Was there another Hamana-san besides the girl still shrieking and rattling the fence?
"That's a pretty warped way of liking someone. Fitting, for a class about water and refraction..."
The girl chuckled unsettlingly to herself, completely ignoring my opinion and hunching her back. Huh, I thought she was a normal kid... but then again, a normal kid wouldn't be talking to me, would they?
The normal kids are on the other side of the fence, still playing in the pool.
"Aah, so hot!" Toue, looking awfully grumpy, jumped from the fence back into the pool, making a big splash. I worried a little if my pool gear would be returned in one piece.

After school that day, before Toue and the others left, they each gave me one kick.
Direct stuff like that was rare; back in the day, it happened every day—Pop-Up Pirate was in constant peril.
There was one guy who persistently kicked me three, four times. That was against the rules, so a punishment was necessary.
Even if the reason was a lie, I ended up kicking back hard at only that last person.
It was my first act of resistance since kicking the desk. And it unexpectedly created a rather large stain of a problem.

"He said he doesn't want to come to school because you're here."
The next day, after school. On top of that, the staff room.
...
Which one is the pest, I wonder? The answer is one line below (though I don't really get what that means, this development).
"Were you bullying him or something?"
My homeroom teacher questioned me about the truth of the matter in a seemingly tacked-on interrogative tone. If she wanted an answer like, "Yes, that's right," she should have just asked Toue.

The sidelong glances from other teachers passing by made me feel even more uncomfortable.
How am I going to explain to Auntie why I'm late getting home? There's no way she'd believe me if I said I was playing with friends.
"Are you listening?"
"Yes, I'm listening."
"Then answer."
...
Akaike, whose left thigh I'd kicked yesterday, was absent from school today. He'd exaggerated the pain right after I kicked him, but apparently, it still hurt today, so he'd gone all the way to the hospital and then told the teacher he was taking the day off because "I don't want to go to schoo-ool 'cause he's there." Wow.
...No need to even imagine whose instigation that was.
And the teacher believes it. Apparently, Akaike is more trustworthy than I am. She's looking down on me with an expression that says, "So this kid really is *that* way, huh?"
What does this person see and hear in the classroom usually?

"Your silence is as good as an admission of guilt, you know."
The teacher, irritated at having to waste time on someone like me. As I looked up at her expression, I felt my gaze unintentionally intensify.
There's no point in lying and saying I didn't do anything, though.
Teacher, what's your definition of bullying?
Is it "having normal kids in the classroom" and "having fun teaching a class with the child of a criminal in it"? This is a pain. I want to go home soon. My day isn't over until I play the part of a modern kid glued to the TV. That *uso-oki* (a lie to set aside, a variation of 'setting that aside'), how long am I supposed to stay silent?
If I admit fault here, it seems like I'll be dragged into a scenario where I have to go to Akaike's house to apologize.

I can't do that. I don't want to spread the trouble to my aunt and uncle. It would just be a nuisance for them. So, I'll say nothing here, won't get drawn in, won't fall for it, I'll just harden myself and endure. I'm not an honest person, but I've evolved into a kid who doesn't tell lies either. That's a lie, sir.
To get through this, I'll just reflect inwardly.
Releasing the clamminess of my clenched fists.
So that no matter what blunder slips from the teacher's mouth, my reason doesn't take a nosedive.
I'm bad. Everyone's bad.
So please, don't get involved with me.
Please don't think about trying to make me a good kid.

On the way home, after having my heart wrung out like a dishcloth by the teacher.
I don't know why, but Toue was following me.
No.
Toue had been waiting in the classroom, specifically for me and nothing else.
"So slo-ow, you really are a slowpoke, Ese-kun," she'd complained selfishly.
Now, she's walking next to me.

"So, Ese-kun, which one pissed you off the most? You hate being kicked and stuff, right? You sent Akaike flying like he was a desk yesterday, after all!"
"...Where's your house, Hamana-san?" I diverted the topic, not letting it inflate.
"Hm? Opposite direction. After leaving school, I actually have to turn left to go home. And I told you, Toue is fine. How many times does this make, Ese-kun? Won't you count for me?"
"Got it, Hamana-san." "You're doing that on purpose! Ese-kun, you're such a nasty kid." Look who's talking, Toue.

We walked under a sky that was changing from pale yellow to a faint orange. Toue walked too.
...So, why, is what I want to ask.
"So, why are you taking the long way?"
"?hy, Windeed."
"...What kind of line is that?"
"Just tried giving a reply I thought you'd like, Ese-kun."
Toue trotted a little ahead of me, mocking me cheerfully. How did she even talk just now? Hmm, my eardrums are busy tearing and mending due to some unseen force. Just kidding.
"Anyway, never mind about the detour. Today's the day we go to your place to hang out, Ese-kun!"
"...Huh?" My feet and eardrums almost stopped.

"What, you gonna say you can't hea-ar me or something?" Toue teased, sounding pleased with herself.
"No, it's not that... At my house? Why?"
"Why, why, you're like a baby, Ese-kun. Why don'tcha think for yourself?"
She scoffed at me, and then forcefully pointed forward.
"Look, if you don't walk ahead, Ese-kun, I won't know the way. Trying to match your plodding pace is tiring out my legs, y'know."
"Then why don't you get lost?"
"Ese-kun, you're awful! Total bully material."
Toue criticized, looking delighted.

Yay ☆ A bully acknowledged my talent for bullying!
Tough joke, though ☆ No, really.
Toue snatched my hat and twirled it on her index finger. Even though she'd called me dirty, I conveyed with just a sidelong glance, and pressed my palm to my head so the wind wouldn't mess up my hair and reveal the scar.
"So, what were you talking about with the teacher?"
Toue plunked the hat back on my head, then hit me with a whimsical show of interest.

"I got caught eating two fried bread rolls from lunch by myself and got scolded."
"Liar. It's because Akaike's not at school, and you're involved, right?"
She pointed her index finger at me as if to say, "I see right through you!" I briefly considered snapping it. Just kidding.
"You know a lot."
"I'm the one who told the teacher, and I ordered Akaike to say that, too."
"I thought so."

I'd figured out over these past two weeks that Akaike wasn't the type to do something like that on his own. Toue, on the other hand, was a complete mystery.
"You know, Akaike, he does anything I tell him to. It's convenient, but a little scary, huh?"
"Maybe he likes you, Hamana-san."
"Oh, really? Well, I don't like him, and I don't care either."
Toue coolly and easily denied the formation of any new human relationship.
It seemed Akaike had been rejected in his absence. I had no intention of badmouthing him with jealousy, saying it was because he skipped school. I'd been made a member of the beautification committee without realizing it myself, so I could sympathize.

"Anyway, Ese-kun, is it fun walking so slowly? If we don't hurry, we'll have less time to play. You're so inconsiderate."
Toue's bipedal locomotion transitioned into a run. I forced myself to start running by convincing myself that 'Yesterday is chasing me from behind, and if it touches my back, I'll have to redo Today all over again.'
If he'd take over being on the beautification committee for me, I wouldn't mind trading my current situation with Akaike's.

This moment, having my wrist grabbed by a bully, walking home together.
"Are you really going in?" I wish you'd go back to your own house and think about it carefully.
"I'm going in." Unhesitating, Toue stepped into the entryway of my aunt and uncle's house before I did.

Perhaps because she had me captured alive, Toue barged straight in without even ringing the doorbell.
"Excuse me-e!" Toue declared, honestly announcing her intention to disturb my time until dinner, and took off her shoes. But she didn't step up into the house yet, instead standing on her own shoes, waiting.
"What're you doing, Ese-kun? You gotta say 'I'm ho-ome'—"
"...I'm home." The sound reasoning coming from Toue bitterly forced my mouth open.
Ignoring Toue, who was acting like a guardian, "Can't you say it louder?" I strained my eyes towards the back of the hallway. My aunt, who sometimes rustled around in the kitchen or chewed on things (?), didn't appear.
Maybe she was being wary because she heard a girl's voice. It's not like she'd be wondering if I, so troubled by my *chinsee*, had undergone a sex change, though.

"Is no one home? Or did you kill them, Ese-kun?" Toue tilted her head.
"The door wasn't locked, so I think someone's here."
But if possible, I hoped it was a burglar (someone with about half my strength) and not my aunt. Anyway, how am I supposed to introduce Toue?
After a little while, before I could organize my speech, my aunt came pattering from the kitchen after all.
She came out to the entryway, spotted Toue, and was surprised, like any normal person. She recoiled a step.
"...Welcome home. And, umm, a friend?"
She looked at me, her face twitching all over as if to say, "Highly suspicious." So I immediately looked away.
An awkward pause formed, and I clung to the vain hope that Toue might feel awkward and leave, but a proxy reply flew in from the side without a moment's delay.

"Yes. Nice to meet you, I'm Ese-kun's friend, Hamana Toue."
That's a lie, though. I made sure to add that inwardly. Hehehe, if you leave this task to me, I'm practically a pro.
At Toue's greeting—which was like a cat's, not just on the surface but all the way through—my aunt's eyes widened, but she managed a wry smile.
"Nice to meet you. I'm XX's aunt. ...So, you've made a friend, huh?"
My aunt, oblivious to me clenching my teeth to protect my eardrums and semicircular canals from the sonic attack, gradually changed her wry smile into a gentle one.
"But your first friend is a girl, huh? Really, you take after your brother in how quick you are with your hands, too."
"There's a mountain of things I'd like to retort to in that statement."
She's not my friend, I'm not quick with my hands, what's with the "too," and I'm nothing like him. Argh, everything.

"Big brother? You mean Ese-kun's father?"
Toue bit. My aunt made a token "Ah" face.
"Speaking of Ese-kun's father..."
She paused for just a moment. The words that would follow seemed like nothing but trouble, so I took off my shoes.
"He's just a no-good dad. Come on, let's go."
I pushed Toue's back, shattering the atmosphere. It's only when I'm breaking something that I stoop to being skillful.
It's as easy as stepping on and crushing pieces of my heart like cornflakes.
Even if that's true for most people, for me, it's even more so.

"Whoa-oa, this is easy, but da-angerous," Toue said as she was being dragged along, and my aunt giggled. Hmm, the adult is completely fooled.
My aunt's impression of us as we left was the height of misunderstanding.
"He's just shy, isn't he," she said.
Liar, I want to retort. There's no way my aunt can understand things that way.
Because you are far too shameless.
Your heart is too hard, too strong, too thick.

"You're a big liar, Hamana-san."
"About what?"
I delivered my honest assessment to Toue, who was climbing the stairs to the second floor ahead of me.
Without turning around, Toue lightly slapped the wall beside her in protest.
"Eh? What about? I'm your friend, ri-ight? Oh, you mean *bestie*? And it's Toue, okay?"
"What's with that sigh from you? It's just that, if I said I was the kid bullying Ese-kun, I'd obviously get yelled at."
"Well, that's true, but..." How am I supposed to retort and deny that contradiction?

"But, still." Toue did something extremely dangerous: turning around while climbing the stairs.
Skillful Toue, who managed to reach the top of the stairs walking backward without slowing down.
"Ese-kun, you haven't told that person from before, or anyone, that you're being bullied at school, have you?"
"If I had, Hamana-san, you'd have been turned into dried fish by my aunt by now."
"Sca-ry. As expected of Ese-kun's family!"
Expressing strange admiration, Toue started walking down the second-floor hallway first. They're not my family, though.

There was a single hallway, with a window on the right and two rooms lined up on the left. Toue turned only her head.
"Which room?" "The one further in." "Nyaruhodo, so, the one closer, then." You little...!
Toue, who refreshingly didn't trust me at all, slid open the wooden door of the nearer room and barged in without anyone's permission, announcing, "First public unveiling!" I followed, debating whether to trap her inside and seal it shut. I thought about saying "It's a messy room, but please come in" to her back, but it didn't seem like it would have any effect, so I didn't.

After tossing her randoseru into the center of the room, Toue wandered around, prowling through someone else's room.
Then, she let out a subdued cry.
"Woow! There's nothi-ing here! It's so hard to look surprised!"
She certainly seemed to be struggling. Especially her facial muscles. Dust was dancing too, helping to stage Toue's dynamic presence. Hmm, it's a neutral party, that dust. Wouldn't it normally take my side? Am I still not recognized as a resident of this house? I found myself engaging in some very pointless speculation about the countless dust motes.

"I mean, is this even a room? It's a storeroom with no stuff, so is it just a 'placement' of nothing? Oh dear, does this mean Ese-kun was actually an honest person?"
"No, the correct answer is that you're the twisted one, Hamana-san. This is my room."
I placed my randoseru on the desk, then, after a slight hesitation, took off my hat too and set it beside the backpack. I fiddled with my hair with my hand, applying some camouflage just in case. Then, I sat on the floor. I had, for the time being, granted usage rights of the chair to my guest. That's a lie, though.