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"The 'night' part gets added on, right?"
"...Hmm."
Honestly, when someone's gone to the trouble of telling a lie, they just have to butt in. Is this old guy really a nuisance after all? Nuisance-ojisan. He's just one character off from being a respectable baker, Jam Ojisan.
"A night baseball tournament, 'ssu ka? A night game, that's pretty rare, 'ssu ne."
Her thinking is so peaceful, it makes me a little worried. The world is far more full of malice than goodwill, after all.
"You're right, but it's not that unusual around here."
And with that, like calling my shot for a home run, I thrust the tip of my metal bat at the old man's nose.
"Are you going to get in my way when I step up to the batter's box? Or are you going to cheer me on?"
The old man silently holds up the duralumin case he carries. It's like a repeat of that one time.
"Is this old guy on your rival team, Ane-san?"
And then there's the one person who just can't read the room.
When she chimes in, the conversation tends to go off track. Well, that's fine by me, though.
I'd be in trouble if she found out the circumstances. I really wanted her to stay uninvolved, no matter what.
"Neither, I'd say. It's a problem that's meaningless unless you do something about it, wouldn't you agree?"
From his words, I can tell he really knows everything. And if he's not going to stop me, then...
"You get it."
I pull back the bat. I want to prepare for tonight, so having one less pointless action to take was a help.
"Though I probably should stop you, really."

"Why?"
I genuinely didn't get it at all, so I just tilted my head.
Seeing that, the old man said, "You'll understand if you think about it a little," and left.
Thinking is such a pain. That kind of stuff was Nee-sama's job.
At least, it used to be.
"I wonder."
Because I was with Nee-sama, I was able to live without worrying.
"He left in a strangely refreshing way, 'ssu ne."
Guys like him are persistent, contrary to how they look, so he'll probably be back.
"Haaah. You're both really serious about this baseball tournament, 'ssu ne."
"I'm staking my life on it."
"Pheww."
"Which means I'm gonna practice, so we're done for today."
I start swinging my bat, not caring about the place. "Hiee," the high school girl scrambled away.
"I'll definitely come cheer you on at the tournament, 'ssu yo!"
"Thanks for that."
"Um, hey."
Should you *really* be cheering me on?
That doubt surfaced slightly in my mind.
I find myself calling out to the high school girl who was in the path of my swing.
She turns around. Seeing her gentle eyes, I have a change of heart.
"No, it's fine, never mind."
"Oh, what a tease."
"Shoo, shoo."
"So mean!" the high school girl yelped, clowning around as she ran off. Her steps were light.
Wandering around on a weekday, she didn't seem to have a single hesitation or worry.
"Must be nice."
Her head. I wish I could swap it with mine.
What would she do then, I wonder.
As I watch her go, I suddenly realize what I'm about to do.
"Do you want to meet your parents?"
Sorry, high school girl.
I'm going to end up crushing one of your wishes.
That night, deciding to get it over with before my bath, I shouldered my metal bat and went outside without saying goodbye to anyone.

Faintly...
Alright, let's go. Let this be the last murder.

As I chased the light, my surroundings gradually brightened. The echo of footsteps, inaudible until moments ago, began to resonate, and I became able to walk in a place that had form. My wobbly, unstable vision began to steady as I focused on the light at its center. I became capable of thinking at least enough to wonder where I was going.

As I let my hands wander as if searching for a wall, I gradually began to feel something like a texture. Just when I thought it was rough like the rock of a cave, it suddenly changed to something fluffy and soft. I felt like the ground beneath my feet was also gradually forming. Was my consciousness becoming clearer? Or had I merely delved deeper into my own heart?
I felt as if my face had just broken the surface of the water, forgetting the suffocation.
Gradually, my own footsteps became clearly audible. Clack, clack, the echo was strong. I might be in a narrow, enclosed space. I imagined a place like a corridor. Little by little, the image solidified. As it did, the amount of light seemed to increase, and the darkness began to blur. Bewildered by the change in my vision, I blinked, and the situation transformed completely.

Countless windows were floating. Unrelated to anything like a wall, innumerable windows floated in the air. If I consciously turned, the color I imagined was there. I moved my eyes, and the scenery was dyed in various hues. My eyes and consciousness danced amidst the myriad overlapping colors, different from a rainbow.
Once it suddenly brightened and I got used to it, I re-examined my surroundings. What did these floating windows signify? If I got closer, I could peek outside. Though I didn't know if an "outside" even existed. On the other hand, what could be seen from the windows far above my head, utterly out of reach? It was as if they were being kept away from me. I looked up for a while, but since there was no way to float up, I gave up and peeked into a nearby window. Dust had accumulated on the windowsill.
Beyond the dust stirred by a faint breath, there was my younger sister. My young sister, the one I knew.
My sister was in the middle of a dodgeball game in the schoolyard. I watched her from the classroom window, and when I got bored, I opened a book. There were other classmates in the airy classroom, but I didn't feel like talking to any of them.
While reading my book, I would occasionally glance towards the window from where I could hear my sister's loud voice. Since my sister ran and dodged around the court, she usually remained until the very end. As she ran around shrieking "Kyaa, kyaa!", the other kids, perhaps having lost their patience, added more balls and started pelting her with them. My sister tenaciously dodged even those, but in the end, she was buried under a pile of balls. As she fell, my sister was roaring with laughter, though I couldn't see what was funny.
I don't like falling on the dirt; it gets your clothes dirty.

Looking down, that's what I was thinking at the time.
When a certain interval replayed, the scene would return to the beginning and repeat. My sister started running energetically again.
I tried peeking into another window. The scenery it showed was dusk. My sister and I were walking outside, side by side. Gazing at it absently, ah, I remembered. It was when I'd gone out after school intending to buy a book, and my sister, having nothing better to do, had tagged along. After this, my sister would lose her wallet.
The moment she dropped it was also faithfully reproduced, and I couldn't help but point, thinking, "Ah, behind you, behind you!" It was a coin purse shaped like a white seal's face, one my sister had been fond of. My sister, walking with wide swings of her arms, didn't notice the dropped item at all. And I, next to her, was only thinking something like, "She's so noisy."

It was only after wandering around the bookstore for a long time that I realized she'd lost her wallet. We hurriedly ran back, but the wallet was nowhere to be found. My sister was more deeply upset about losing the wallet itself than the money inside. That was because the wallet was not for sale and couldn't be bought again.
My sister was downcast until she went to bed that day, but by the next day, she was back to her usual self.
It seemed that sleeping reset most things for her. My reflection, smiling a little at her carefree nature, appeared in the window.
The sight of my smiling face overlapped with Mother, who would frolic innocently when she saw Father, and I moved away from the window. After a little while, I peeked again, and unlike before, the window only showed a sunset sky. Madder red clouds swam lazily across the sky, as if pulled by strings. That in itself nourished my heart, but still, something was missing. With somewhat hard-sounding footsteps, I peered into another window. The windows seemed to multiply each time I moved, endlessly. Eventually, they would multiply enough to cover everything underfoot and overhead.
The day of the school trip, a small birthday, the time we jumped into the pool together.
I and my sister were in every scene. Being twins, we were naturally in the same grade, and we shared a house, a room. We never had the chance to act separately. My sister was always running around unrestrained, and I was always exasperated by it.
Dust had accumulated on every windowsill. It was probably because I hadn't recalled them for a long time.
However, they were certainly preserved like this.
Is this place, after all, inside my heart?
Come to think of it, I looked away from the windows and turned around. I had lost sight of the light I was chasing. Looking left and right, the scenery was similar, and I became confused about which way I had come from. The windows had multiplied since I arrived, and I no longer knew which way to go.
In the first place, I didn't even know where I was supposed to be heading.
If I didn't know, I decided to just walk straight ahead. Spending time surrounded by memories with my sister wasn't bad, but I felt like there was something else I had to do. Something that could not be accomplished here.

Stepping on the windows, on the memories, I move forward. No, that's wrong... Is it wrong? Perhaps I'm being supported. Memories providing a foothold, a path forward. What I had walked on up to this point was, it seemed, something so vague. Vague, insignificant... and yet, unforgettable.
I was certain that no matter how hard I stepped on these window panes, they would never break.
That was both the strength of memories and, at the same time, meant that I couldn't escape into them.
As I advanced, the number of windows decreased. The light also gradually faded, and the cave-like atmosphere returned. Was I turning back? No, this must be right, I reconsidered. Fewer windows meant fewer memories with my sister. That was proof that this path led to the future.
The time I walked with my sister ends around the sixth grade of elementary school. So, memories drastically decrease from that point onward. I didn't know when the footing might disappear. Still, I couldn't afford to stand still.

As if in place of my footsteps, which had become indistinct, I heard a sound like flowing air. It was also like someone's sigh. That faint change, which felt somehow familiar, struck the surface of my nearly stagnating consciousness several times.
Eventually, I saw the lost light drifting in the distance. In the pitch darkness, I chased the light once more.
Since I couldn't see anything else, I couldn't grasp how far I had walked or how close I had gotten. Before I knew it, a door had come into view in front of me. The small light was sucked into that door, cut off from the darkness. As if drawn by it, my feet also closed the distance to the door. I stopped within arm's reach.
When I caressed the surface of the door once, my fingers became wet, as if shedding tears. The windows led to memories. If so, where does the door invite me?
With a slimy, slipping hand, I open the door.
A high-pitched scream from the door's joints.
My body and the darkness were steeped in the rectangular radiance along the door, as if the slipperiness on its surface was being removed.
Beyond the opened door was a dazzling light. And then, a room that evoked nostalgia spread out before me.
Was it because of the lined-up study desks, or the books I used to read arranged on the shelves? Is this my room? Not my great-aunt's house, but my family home, the room I lived in until junior high.
The air felt just as it had when my sister and I left.
After inhaling a few times, I felt my light,ふわふわ (fuwa-fuwa, light/airy) body solidify.
In the utterly silent room, the desolate pain of winter. Shivering from the cold, I suddenly saw someone's feet. Strangely, I felt no fear towards those feet in the same room. A sharp pain shot through the back of my eyes. I looked up.

My younger sister, wearing a school uniform, was standing there.
"Nee-sama."
"Nee-sama."
I doubt my eyes. I stare. I become certain.
She's grown, and though her resemblance to her old self has become faint, she is definitely my younger sister.
It was how my sister called me, a way that now felt nostalgic. My sister squinted as if the light was too bright, and she had been eagerly waiting for me to come. Where could this be? When I touched the wall, I felt a solid sensation.
An unlit lamp. A thin sliver of light stretching from behind the curtains. In the air, thin with spread dust, were futons for two people. All of it was deeply familiar, smelling of nostalgia.
There was only one thing in this room that shouldn't be possible.
"This is strange... I'm not supposed to be able to see you."
What Yuna-san had told me mixed with my unclear memories. I felt like I had seen a man, and I felt like I had seen a dimly lit room. I even felt as if I were looking down at my crying self from the ceiling.
When I try to recall each thing, the headache, like needles piercing me, won't subside.
No, that's wrong. The embedded needles were trying to burst out of my brain.
My sister calls me again. She approaches, and I collapse from my knees as if being embraced. I sit down on the floor with my sister, and she strokes my back soothingly. Using my sister's lap as a pillow, ah, I see, I understood.
"This is... a dream, isn't it?"
My sister's leg twitched as if I'd hit the mark.
This fogginess in my head must also be something that comes with dreams.
After a long pause, my sister affirmed.

"It is, Nee-sama. It's your dream."
"It must be, right..."
After all, I can see my sister. We're talking.
For something like that to suddenly happen is not very realistic.
Embraced by my sister, I rest my head on her lap, finding peace. Though my thoughts had been fluttering around noisily like a swarm of gnats, they gradually calmed as if enveloped in a strange warmth. As I took a deep breath through my nose and exhaled slowly, at length, it felt as if parts of my body were being replaced.
For a dream, even my poor physical condition was reproduced in detail, and my mind and body felt worn out.
"You seem tired, Nee-sama."
"Yeah... School, what should I do..."
"Rest today."
I was annoyed by my sister's bossy tone, but I didn't feel like raising a hand, so I let it go.
"One day should be fine, right?"

"Not just one day, you can stay here forever, you know."
My sister whispers gently. I thought that wouldn't be so bad either. But, I can't do that.
"Even if I stay in a dream forever, it won't solve anything."
I'm not that weak of a person. I'm too stubborn, and I can't immerse myself in fantasy-like things.
"It'd be nice if that were true, wouldn't it?"
Her tone was heartfelt, and for my sister, it didn't sound foolish. Only in a dream.
My sister, whom I hadn't touched in a long time, had grown quite a bit, including her arms and legs. Though it's a product of my imagination, I wonder if she hasn't undergone similar growth in reality. She's mostly the same as me. We were known as twins who didn't look much alike, but maybe our destinations are the same.
"Is your head injury okay?"
My sister pokes at the small, receding bump on my head. A grating pain shot through me.
"This, I thought you were the culprit."
"How rude of you!"
My sister huffs indignantly.
"I would never hurt you, Nee-sama."
"Unlike just now?"
"I wonder... Come to think of it, I saw various things earlier."
"Things from the past. Like when you got lost on the school trip, things like that."
I felt like our conversation wasn't really connecting, but it's a dream, so I guess it doesn't matter if it's haphazard.
I won't remember it when I wake up anyway.
"You remembered that well, didn't you?"
"I'd forgotten. But I remembered a little. Because I was looking for you, the school trip ended without me enjoying it much at all. I was really looking forward to the aquarium, you know. In the end, you were glued to the spiny lobster tank, enjoying yourself all alone."
Ha, ha, ha, my sister's feigned laughter bloomed.
"I wish you'd only remembered the part about our touching reunion and forgotten the rest."
My sister is saying whatever's convenient for her. That's what makes her an idiot.
"Even if you forget, what happened will never disappear."
What happened cannot be changed. Things, and also, people's hearts.
But that's not only a bad thing.
The things I thought then, the important things I felt. Those things don't disappear either. And those memories shape the present. The actions and thoughts of this present will also someday produce results and remain in a different form.
As long as something, somewhere, is alive, nothing ever becomes as if it never happened.
"...Indeed."

My sister touches my hair. Her palm glided down to my back.

"What other things did you see?"
"Just a bunch of trivial things, so much that it's a pain to talk about."
"Tell me, tell me!"
"Are you sleepy?"
She pesters me even though I said it's a bother. My shoulders were gently shaken.
"Don't fall asleep yet, okay?"
"I want to talk a lot with you, Nee-sama. Until you fall asleep."
My sister is saying something strange. Aren't dreams something you see while sleeping? If I fall asleep in a dream, where do I go? Do I return to reality, or do I sink into yet another realm?
Once I started thinking about what it means to wake from a dream, I couldn't quite grasp it anymore.
"It's really nothing much... I just remembered various things, felt nostalgic, and then..."
"...And then?"
"It was boring," I say clearly, laughing.
"In the end, it was all just memories with you."
Since we had lived our whole lives together, it was only natural.
"There's no variety... it's boring."
But, that was my everything.
And that should have been fine.
But now, I had lost all of it.
My sister was silent for a short while. We share all our memories. Perhaps she, too, was imagining the same scenes. Feeling as if we were looking at a photograph together, I also looked back on my memories.
Eventually, my sister starts saying something odd.
"I will protect you, Nee-sama."
Impudent.
Protect me, from what? And so bossy about it.
"Don't be so cheeky..."
When I chided her, she stroked my head as if to provoke me.
If I stayed silent, it seemed she would just keep stroking it forever. If I weren't so tired, I'd bite her in defiance, but my sister is lucky.
"I should have so many more things I want to talk about, but I can't think of them right now."
My sister's voice rained down from above, like rain or tears. She wasn't supposed to be someone who spoke in such a moist, gentle way. She was supposed to be much shriller, crackling like static electricity... a noisy brat.

"It can't be helped. You're an idiot, after all."
"I suppose I am."
I heard a strange "hee hee hee" laugh.
"Only your body has grown bigger..."
The words that followed tangled on my tongue like lint, unable to form a clear shape.
My sister combs my hair with her fingers, stroking it gently. I sensed an adultness in her touch, and thought it wasn't like my sister. I wanted to complain, but my body was swept away by the gentle atmosphere, filling with a sinking drowsiness.
I fall asleep again within the dream.
Deeply, as if being buried.
My sister murmurs thoughtfully. Her voice seemed to travel towards the ceiling.
"This is a nice dream, isn't it?"
"Mmm..."
Nee-sama.
My thoughts melt into a daze, and I can't even reply properly.
Amidst a lightness and precariousness, as if my consciousness were peeling away from my body...
I felt as if I'd been called that name many times.

Since people can't return to the past, not even for a second, everything that happens in the present is all there is. Therefore, things like coincidence don't exist. Everything is an inevitability that has settled into its rightful place.
Nee-sama said something like that before.
If that's the case, then is this encounter also an inevitability?

"Ah, the suspicious-convenience-store-loitering-weird-old-man."
After school, I ran into the old man again. Today's encounter was quite a bit before the convenience store, near a field. And even though I said it so politely for him, the old man looked slightly displeased.
"Could you shorten it a bit? You might bite your tongue."
"Suspicious old man."
"So it still comes down to that, huh..."
The old man shrugged. Today, he wasn't carrying a shopping bag. Meaning, no sweets. Life is harsh. As I stared up at the salty old man, he grimaced as if troubled.
"You're shy, aren't you?"
"I get that a lot."
He said it so confidently that it sounded like a lie.

"First, I guess I'll work on becoming a normal old man..."
"Mm-hmm," the old man nodded. Then he looked down at me.
"You don't walk home with your older sister, surprisingly."
"Well, that's, hahaha."
I laughed it off vaguely.
"Well then, 'scuse me."
"Yep, yep, be careful on your way home."
We waved to each other and quickly parted ways.
"Hey there."
When I reached the corner, I stuck to the wall and peeked at what the old man was doing. I'd been bothered since last time that he seemed concerned about Nee-sama. While other kids were heading home one after another, I kept a close watch, and the old man also didn't leave, as if waiting for something. Eventually, when Nee-sama arrived, the old man started to move.
Nee-sama is alone again today, as expected.
Is it just my imagination, or does he seem more conscious of his demeanor than when he talks to me? Towards the old man, who seemed to be feigning gentleness, Nee-sama responded with sharp eyes. Nee-sama quickly averted her gaze and tried to ignore him.
"Your little sister was walking just a little ahead. You might catch up if you hurry."
Perhaps because he brought me up, Nee-sama's feet stopped. If he was doing that on purpose, he was good. And, this was bad. I felt my fingertips, pressed against the wall, stiffen.
"As I thought, you're the one who's more... hmm."
The old man tilted his chin as if he'd understood something. Nee-sama tensed up, and so did I.
If the old man made any move to do something to Nee-sama, I'd have to jump out. I looked around for a weapon, but there was no convenient piece of lumber or a bat lying around, and the only thing I could claim as a long weapon was the recorder sticking out of my backpack.
A recorder is all I have!
I imagined holding it with both hands and charging at him.
It probably wouldn't even reach an adult's head. If I'm going to aim, it has to be for *there*, huh.
And from what I could see of the old man, there seemed to be one opening I could exploit.
"Why are you stalking us?"
Nee-sama confronted him, though she should have just run away. The distance was also a problem. He'd notice me while I was running over. I pressed myself against the wall, inching closer bit by bit so that not only the old man but also Nee-sama wouldn't notice me. Impatience welled up, generating intense heat between my tiptoes and shoes.
The air caught in the back of my throat.
"Why, you ask... I wonder why. Where does it begin?"

The old man didn't deny the "stalking" part.
His expression frozen, the old man opened his mouth. A question and a murmur, as if not expecting anyone to hear.
"Do you know? A very sad incident happened in this town."

Chapter Four: "Sister"
Sometimes I think it would have been better if I'd never been born.

But I have my sister.
On the same day, at the same time, we see the same things.
On the same day, at the same time, we feel the same things.
Just like fitting together the edges of the same shape and peering into it for eternity.
If I didn't exist, my sister wouldn't, and if my sister didn't exist, then I...
If denying myself means that sister also disappears, then I cannot deny myself.
Do I even have the right to interact with people?
Is it okay for me to be alive?
I secretly heard Father say that to himself once.
When I was a child, I didn't think anything of it.
My present self would answer this way.
Mm.
Since I'm going to live, I have no choice but to believe it's there, that it's good. I will live. Together with Nee-sama.
There is a window. Only a semicircular window frame and the scenery reflected in it were floating in mid-air. My feet were also floating. The window was in a very high place. It was as uncertain as a sheet of paper that would curl and slip away if you brought your fingertips close. After a moment, I understood that I was looking inside my own consciousness.
I am peeking into my own memories in a place close to a dream. The window frame was rusted as if by design, and there was no keyhole. As I watched, at first the morning sun adorned the scenery, then it gradually darkened. There was no daytime.
When I was a child, I thought that sunsets were the universe burning.
When I told my sister that, she said she wanted to eat yakiniku, and I felt the difference in our sensibilities.
Just then, a scene of us like that appears beyond the window. It's nostalgic, and my eyes are captivated, as if devouring it. Trivial exchanges, an ordinary sunset sky. Now, I found myself yearning for that tranquility as if to quench a parched throat. The western sky, bleeding madder red as if scratched, the burnt clouds crumbling and scattering finely. When I wiped away the wind-slobber, which carried the coldness of night on the warmth of the colors, my sister would burst out laughing.
If only I could keep this scene as a memory.
But unfortunately, I probably won't remember what I'm seeing now when I wake up.

I'm made that way.
Once I look away, the inside of the window grows dim. What lies beyond when I peek again is a meticulously cleaned room in an apartment building. It's much newer than the apartment we could call our family home. I knew where it was immediately, and felt dejected. Just because I intend to, I can't just throw away unpleasant memories.
The year 2026. An event from about seven years ago from now. It's a story from when my sister and I were in the fifth grade of elementary school.
We were kidnapped.
The culprit was a man with a gentle demeanor. His way of speaking, his attitude, they were all things that skillfully wormed their way into people. He was probably skilled at exposing his vulnerabilities. Though I had my doubts, I ended up talking with him.
And then, that day came.
On the way home from school, I was caught first. And then my sister, who came to help, ended up getting dragged into it as well.
In the apartment we were taken to, the man explained things in his usual calm tone. Well, I didn't listen to even half of what a pervert had to say, but he was apparently the man who had incited the classmate I had previously hit. His interest in that so-called incident had apparently led him to gradually become interested in us as well. He called it interest, but what lay in his eyes and actions was mere desire.