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The expression that settled on her face was triumphant, practically radiating superiority.
"Well then, maybe it's about time I gave Mii-kun his present~"
"Hm? Oh yeah, I've been waiting impatiently."
What was it again?
"Maa-chan, you're so good at keeping me in suspense."
"I've been waiting for what feels like forever."
*Fofofofo*, that's a lie. I'd completely forgotten it even existed.
"Be a good boy and hold down the fort!" she declared, bestowing this humiliation upon me, before tottering off towards the bedroom. ...Holding down the fort, huh. Makes me think of childhood memories. Bittersweet ones. Starting to rot, actually.

I flicked the television's power switch on. Look at that, the results of my English homework are already paying off, I thought, deeply moved. Just kidding, though. On the screen, just like this morning, the local news was playing. Perhaps because there weren't any major incidents to report, they were running a Valentine's special. Footage of people crowding around limited-edition chocolates at a department store food section I felt like I'd seen before. I changed the channel. An evil magistrate was being cut down left and right (there couldn't have been *that* many). Period dramas are something to look forward to in old age, so I changed it again. Next, animation filled the CRT screen. The visuals made my eyes swim, and I turned away, shifting my gaze to the window.

Outside, dusky clouds strolled across the sky, and power lines occasionally swayed in the wind. The moon wasn't making an appearance in today's scenery. There was no snow, either; nothing obstructed the darkness. A perfect day for a walk.

"Dendero-deroriro!"
Accompanied by that mysterious sound effect, Mayu returned, clutching a generally dilapidated cardboard box. She staggered towards the table, and then—"Ta-da!"—the contents spilled out with the force of an avalanche.
Rectangular boxes, all adorned with red wrapping paper and crimson ribbons, formed a hill.
"I made them all myself!"
Mayu tossed the cardboard box against the wall and sidled up to me. Only now did the existence of chocolates resurface from my memory. I picked up one of the red boxes, estimating there were at least thirty.
"There are so many..."
"It's love. It's my love for Mii-kun."
"Yeah..." Staring directly at this mass of red, I think anyone who *couldn't* feel it would be the strange one.
"Thank you. I love Maa-chan too."
I patted Mayu's head. The thought "Is it really okay for me to accept these?" was one thing, but now that the actual objects had materialized, I felt somewhat hesitant, naturally.
Mayu narrowed her eyes, looking tickled, like a daughter praised by her father.

"I didn't make 'em sweet at all, so it's totally fine!"
"...Oh, really? Whoopee."
This is why I can never fully accept Sugawara as my best friend.

...But, hmm, wait a second.
I turned the box in my hand over, rotated it, stared at it. I picked up another one, observing it.
Unable to completely dispel the doubt welling up inside me, I asked the creator.
"When did you make these?"
For the past few months, I hadn't witnessed her engaging in the patisserie-like activity of chocolate making. That stirred my suspicion.
"Hmm, let's see," Mayu began folding down her fingers one by one. She folded down all the fingers on her right hand, then folded the middle finger on her left hand halfway down. ...What does that mean?

Her remaining ring and pinky fingers pointed at the rectangle resting in my hand.
"That one's probably from eight years ago."
Something unidentifiable almost erupted from my mouth, which hadn't been exerting itself in the slightest.
"I made them in my spare time after I started living here."
Mayu's carefree smile flickered between monochrome and color. Right now, I was undoubtedly wide-eyed, my eyes darting back and forth. The shock sent my consciousness flying to the moon, and my stomach cramped.
"Okay, which one should you try first~?"
I'd prefer the eternally frozen one, please. And also, please spare me—
—though I doubt that's possible.

A few nibbled bits wouldn't be a problem. That's within tolerance. Even if something rustled inside the box, that would merely make me furrow my brow. Back when I lived in the basement, bugs were practically considered a delicacy, after all, since they were cooked. Mayu, living like a princess, rejected them vehemently, though. Sugawara too.
But even for someone as insensitive as me, facing a horde of chocolates guaranteed to turn into chemical weapons the moment they're opened, my stomach was bound to give out before my resolve could set in.
There was no need to receive a future forecast to know where this act would ultimately lead.
"Here, eat up, eat up!"
*In my home country, those words mean suicide, you know.* She picked out the eight-year-old one.
If they'd been stored in a freezer, maybe, but eight years in a cardboard box at room temperature? Just imagining it made cold sweat bead on my brow. The food situation eight years ago was dire, but even then, something this catastrophically destructive wasn't in our repertoire. The secret to torment is keeping someone half-dead, so it's crucial not to inflict a fatal wound.

Perhaps because I wasn't reaching for it, Mayu started humming as she began unwrapping the package. When I suspiciously wondered how Mayu could distinguish between objects with identical exteriors, I noticed the year was faintly written on the knot of the ribbon.

Right, what to do. Should I hug her and try to distract her? It occurs to me that this method borders on perverted, but my trump card, the marriage registration, has already been used, and I have no other reliable tools at hand. If I were to submit divorce papers, *I'd* be the one getting wrapped in red this year.
Besides hugging her, there might be a slim chance of stalling for time by other means. But is that really okay?

"...Maa-chan."
It was a painful, desperate measure, but it was all I could think of. To buy time, this was it.
I had no choice but to administer the double-edged trump card I'd suddenly realized I possessed today.
Mayu paused, ribbon pinched between the fingers of both hands. "What is it?"
"Maa-chan." "Yeah?" "...Have your boobs gotten bigger or something?" "Nyan-what?"
Wrong, that's sexual harassment. And Maa-chan, don't look like you wouldn't mind testing it by touching!
This isn't what I want to express, I thought, clutching my head like an avant-garde artist.
"I mean, like, have you grown as a person, or maybe gotten literally bigger..."
I agonized over my word choice. But time waits for no one. The red paper was peeling away, *peri-peri*.
"Maa-chan..." "Uh-huh, uh-huh." I made up my mind. "...Have you gotten fat?"
A ringing filled my ears.

Like the delayed clap of thunder after lightning, I registered a beat later that Mayu had slapped the side of my face.
"Oh, *weally*? Is that so?"
Mayu, her smile, voice, and actions crudely unified. A sharp pain, reminiscent of being hit in the ear with a nearly frozen snowball in the past, belatedly began to invade my senses.
"But no~" *Slap.* "That can't be right~" *Slap, slap.* "Mii-kun, you dummy~" *Slap, slap-slap,* I was showered with slaps.
But it was true; her weight when she playfully clung to me had increased.
She's constantly in a state resembling hibernation, after all. Of course her nutrient storage would be proceeding smoothly.
Basically, you're certified ready to return to the wild at any time!
This was no time to be giving Mayu a motive for murder slightly ahead of schedule as a White Day return gift.
"...Mmm, really?"
Perhaps sensing something in my gaze, she asked for confirmation with a serious look. Then, without waiting for an answer, Mayu sullenly pinched the flesh at her own side. Freeze frame. Release. Now she pinched *my* side. Still frozen... "Key!"
She hit me. Apparently, I'd won the battle but lost the war.
"Mii-kun, you failure!"
Being called that by the genuine failing schoolgirl herself was an unwarranted insult that scratched at my heart. Was that her parting shot? Mayu fled the living room with a *chara-charachara* clatter of footsteps. Phew. Up until this very second, I hadn't even had the leeway to slip in a lie. A weight lifted from my shoulders.

Right.
But.
While creating a new danger, I had escaped the immediate crisis. Now, all that was left was to throw away this wine-red coffin-like... former chocolate. If only it were that easy. I won't throw the chocolate away, but I won't eat it either. Having to do both—that's the painful part of being a stupid couple. That's a lie.

I rummaged through the boxes. Searching for the ribbon with the most recent year and date. If there was one that was still viable, I should probably eat it. I have a pack rat nature, after all. Though I feel like that might be a lie too.
After checking, a box from mid-September of last year remained in my hand. Chocolate is slow to spoil due to its low water content; relying on gut feeling, this one should be okay. But wait, this stuff wasn't made with preservatives or anything, so even if there are no bugs nesting on the surface, there's a possibility that poisonous things are lurking inside. No, "possibility" is still too optimistic.
People often say reality is harsh, but that's not true.
It's just that human optimism goes too far.

Since I was prepared, I untied the ribbon. Removed the wrapping, opened the box. Hmm, a white powder was sprouting on the dark, dark bar. Is it going through puberty? Or cosplaying as floury potatoes? I pinched it with my fingers. It didn't crumble like sand. It was just strangely soft.
I brought it to my mouth and bit off about a quarter. There was no crisp *pak* sound; it tore off like konjac.
"...Hmm."
It tasted like someone mixed up sugar and clay. The so-called despair type.

It seemed time had already stolen its flavor. It became stringy and sticky in my mouth. But, that's okay, you know, with stuff like this, you savor the feeling.
A creature that eats feelings, huh. ...Humans are kind of like that, aren't they?
Though my digestive system has its flaws. And Maa-chan is a picky eater.
I chewed with self-deprecation. ...I couldn't swallow. It was like stringy gum. Only saliva passed futilely down my throat. Having no choice, I stuck my fingers into my mouth and struggled desperately, pushing the sticky chocolate towards the back of my throat.

After somehow finishing it all, I put my hands together and offered a prayer: "Thank you for the meal."
Then, I wanted to moisten my throat with water, but feeling too sluggish due to the chill in the hallway, I found myself gazing up at the ceiling.
Just then, Mayu threw the door open dramatically.
In her right hand, she gripped the kitchen knife Maa-chan uses for cooking and other things.
She crouched down in front of me, planting her knees on the floor and leaning forward.
"Where am I fat?"

"Huh?"
With a sincere expression, Mayu asked, the knife gleaming with white light.
"I'll just cut that part off a little, nice and easy way to get slim!"
"...Wow." Just how straightforward is this girl?
A diet that requires absolutely no effort or life, straight to the point.
I felt like multiple blue veins were about to descend from my hairline onto my forehead.
"There's no way that's okay!"
I reached out to take the knife. Naturally, "Key!" my hand was batted away by her foot.
"Now, now, little lady, let's be a good girl and listen, okay?"
I demanded she hand it over in a wheedling tone. But,
"Not okay!"
She flailed about. If I could, I'd love to throw a tantrum too, yelling "Not okay-ssu!"
What followed was playful roughhousing with life and death dangling between us.
The knife went back and forth, too.
The fact that we both emerged relatively unscathed, with only minor scratches when I finally wrestled it away and declared victory, was, in a way, moving.
Mixed with cold sweat, the exertion induced perspiration, and both our cheeks were flushed.
It ended up being good exercise, but it also felt like it shaved years off my life, so this sort of activity is banned henceforth.

"Then, what shouwd I dooo?"
While squishing and kneading Mayu's pouting cheeks, *muni-muni*, I tilted my head, "Hmm."
"Well, if we're going the healthy route... Ah, before that, thanks for the chocolate."
"Nyuu~ How wash it?" she asked for my review of the taste, her cheeks still stretched.
"It tasted like Maa-chan."
*Hehehe*, it's not a matter of delicious or disgusting. Really.
"Nyu-hya hya~"
Whether she was pleased by the "mother's cooking" nuance is uncertain, but it was effective.
"Okay then... Speaking of standard dieting methods..."
And so, Mayu decided to embark on a nightly run.
When it comes to exercise without knives, this is pretty much it. Well, being ignorant, I don't know a single sport that *does* use them, though.
At a time when she'd normally be soaking in the bath or tucked in bed, Mayu prepared her slightly hunched posture and her going-out expression and left the apartment. Wearing her favorite black beret and her only pair of sneakers, she stepped onto the asphalt. She bathed in a cold wind harsh enough to make her resolve rebel, and rubbed her dry eyes.

No fluorescent lights hit the road; the path through the dark night stretched endlessly.
"And so, I was the one accompanying her," I added my own narration, watching my white breath mix with the air. The wind rustling the trees in the planters struck my ears, and the receding pain flared up sharply. Overcome with the desire to return to our place, I looked up at the apartment building one last time.
"Okay, shall we go?"
I put my hands in my jacket pockets and told Mayu to start, stepping in place.
Mayu nodded once and started running at a walking pace... which means I'm walking at a running pace. "Run properly."
I lightly pinched Mayu's cheek. "Fugi," Mayu expressed her displeasure, stopping.
"Why are you bothering me?"
"If you want to be bothered, try putting a little more effort into your actions."
She was just trotting along like a hamster in a running posture. If you asked a hundred people about this sight, forty would describe it as a walk, and the rest would likely praise her as an adorable pretty girl. Of course, I'm at the forefront of the latter group. But still.
"I'm not running. I'm going for a walk."
"Oh, is that so?"
Then what's with the arm swinging and leg movements? "Sorry, sorry."
I released her cheek, which had a pleasant feel. Timing it perfectly, Mayu swung her arms exaggeratedly and strode forward with large steps.
I walked alongside her, without needing to rush my thoughts or my feet.
"How much weight are you planning to lose?"
When I asked, Mayu's fist seemed to hum. Apparently, talking about weight loss is taboo while someone's trying to lose weight. How unreasonable.
"Until people start calling me 'bean sprout'."
She stated a rather abstract goal. The lack of a clear end made me anxious that it might become the end itself.
To be honest, looking in the mirror, she hasn't particularly grown, you know. But because I pointed it out, Mayu feels obligated to do it.
Because for Maa-chan, being disliked by Mii-kun is a matter of life and death.

A nighttime walk.
"But, well... maybe this is fine."
For us, this is a peaceful motive, which brings some relief.
The reasons I'm accompanying Mayu as she strives to earn nicknames like 'Alfalfa'.
Consideration for the danger of dog and cat disposers potentially prowling about, rehabilitation for my right leg, and...

...and one more thing.
I'd be happy if this was just a hasty conclusion on my part, too. But that's probably impossible.

"...I knew this would happen."
We walked the 30 minutes one way to the elementary school gate, and on the way back.
As soon as I put Mayu, who complained of walking fatigue, on my back, she instantly recognized it as a bed. Right now, she's chewing on my shoulder, breathing quietly in her sleep. Let's hope that tomorrow, she'll have forgotten the secret about her own body.

I walked slowly and carefully along the frozen path, sniffling. If I fell, I wouldn't be able to break my fall, so even urged on by the cold, I absolutely did not hurry.
The surroundings were fields as far as the eye could see, offering a view all the way to the distant mountain contours. To the left was a tourist spot with a ropeway installed, a relatively low mountain with a castle on its summit. Straight ahead was an unpopular mountain known for its air-raid shelter. The left mountain held memories of elementary school excursions, the front mountain held memories with my sister. Neither memory is particularly significant, though.

Without saying "Oof, heave ho," I readjusted Mayu on my back.
"Seriously, I feel like *I'm* going to waste away first."
Which would then make Mayu increasingly prone to violence. What a vicious cycle.
Just as I was grumbling, an electronic tone played. Supporting Mayu's rear with one hand, I fished the cell phone out of my pocket with my fingertips. Flipping open the folded phone, the LCD showed a foreigner's name. There was only one person registered under a katakana name. That person with the tribal-sounding name.
I pressed the call button with my nail, wedged the phone between my shoulder and ear, and readjusted my hold on Mayu with both hands.
"Ah, hello. Are you alone right now?" "Yes, we are one in body and soul."
Kamiyashiro Natsuki-san sounded quite pleased, chuckling "Ufufufufu," at my lazy reply.
Come to think of it, for a glutton, this person's physique doesn't quite match up.
"Is Mayu-chan asleep?"
"Yeah, well. We're in the middle of carrying Mayu for 3000 leagues, though." (*Reference to Marco, Haha wo Tazunete Sanzenri*)
Perhaps because my neck was tilted at an awkward angle, it started protesting with sharp twinges.
"In that case, please submit your application to the nearest convenience store from Mayu-chan's home." (*Humorous use of 'shutsugan' - apply/submit*)
"Sorry, I have plans to do homework with my aunt today."
"Oh my, Mii-san..."
Natsuki-san's line cut off there. After a moment of silence,
"What should we call people who like aunts, I wonder?"
"Are you referring to 'obacon'?" (*Play on 'lolicon', 'oba' meaning aunt*)
I spout a natural lie that would make my parents roll over laughing in their graves.
"That's very informative," Natsuki-san replied with an artificial lie.
"Besides, is it really appropriate for the police to encourage late-night wandering? Are you planning to ignore the possibility of being attacked by wolves or giant apes?"
"The police station is closed due to an influenza outbreak."
Does your wonderful workplace also get days off for storm warnings?
"Besides, there's no moon tonight, so please rest assured."
Ah, true enough, I looked up at the sky. Setting aside the latter half.
"If it were just my own convenience, I would prioritize your plans, Mii-san, but actually, there are people who say they absolutely must meet you. Please understand their feelings and come quickly."
"...And who might they be? Are you perhaps going to introduce me to one of the foremost beauties of the tribe?"
"Not revealing that is our promise, Mii-san."
"I'd forgotten. You're absolutely right."
Making such a profitless promise, I must have been full of youthful vigor back then. Just kidding, though.
"Understood. I'll head over right after I see my sister off at her wedding."
"Yes, well then, I shall wait, playing the part of Selinuntius." (*Friend of Damon/Melos*)
Declaring a role that is inherently ominous, communication with Natsuki-san ended.

"People who want to meet me, huh."
I spoke to the phone, which wasn't connected to anywhere. It's not like I'm being summoned as a suspect in the animal killings again, right? Maybe doggy police officers, armed with arrest warrants based on the Edicts on Compassion for Living Things and chopstick rubber band guns, are waiting. She didn't specify the 'people' she wanted me to meet were *human*.

"Koibi-sensei... No, that's probably wrong."
Well, I'll find out everything once I get there. Let's save it for later enjoyment.
I struggled to put the cell phone away, then took a step forward with my right foot. Once more, I readjusted my grip on Mayu's thigh.
And there, Melos (apparently) stopped beneath the cold sky.

[...]

I thought for just a moment about what to do with Mayu.

"...Oh my."
Just as I arrived at the convenience store parking lot, after leaving Mayu in the room, I expressed genuine surprise at what I saw there. My eyes simply locked onto the spot, like dots.
There was a boy and a girl, waiting for someone, protecting themselves from the cold that felt like it could sublimate into snow with gloves and scarves (which modern people call mufflers), their white breath drifting into the air. Granted, it was a pair of fresh-faced kids whose ages you could count on both hands.
"Is it okay for them to be out this late?"
Bathed in the dazzling light from inside the store, whether viewed from the bottom of a well or observed from a satellite, it was clear the two were the siblings Ikeda Kouta and Ikeda Anzu. Beside them stood Geronimo-san, acting as a guardian—though lacking the feather ornaments stuck in her scalp and any curse markings painted on her skin. It's kind of late to be thinking this, but maybe Natsuki-san isn't actually Geronimo, you know? Not that I have any grounds to deny it.
They seemed to have noticed me too, sniffling before breaking into wide smiles and running over. They moved with a healthy energy that was hard to connect to the kids I remembered from when we shared Mayu's room. Gone were the shackles and grime, the yellow and black stains on their clothes completely wiped clean.
"Um, good evening," "Good evening, Onii-chan."
The two bowed so close that they nearly hit my forehead halfway down, greeting me shyly. I returned the greeting honestly, without embellishments or metaphors, "Good evening."
Was the last time I faced them like this and spoke to them before the season changed?
Anzu-chan gently grasped my arm. A world of difference from how she acted when we first met. Judging by her relaxed, age-appropriate smile, I could tell she'd grown fond of me. Still, no matter how unavoidable the circumstances were back then, choosing me as someone to rely on was rather reckless, wasn't it?
"You two look well. Haven't caught a cold or anything?"
"Ah, um, Anzu had a bit of a fever the other day,"
Kouta-kun glanced at Anzu-chan, saying, "Right?" Anzu-chan gave a small nod and reported, "I'm all better now." "Take care of yourself," I added, feeling like a hospital receptionist.
"So, what brings you here today? Did you need something from me?"
"Yes," Kouta-kun nodded cheerfully. Facing that gentle expression, I didn't have the kind of relationship where I could delve into things like asking about their parents' discord. There was a part of me that felt I shouldn't get deeply involved in these kids' lives. Because I fit too many molds, and couldn't let myself be pigeonholed.

"Anzu," the older brother's hand gently pushed his sister's back. In response, Anzu-chan lightly tapped Kouta-kun back, saying "I know," and took a step away from me. Simultaneously, a rectangular white package emerged from her jacket pocket. She hadn't hit it, apparently, as it wasn't split in two. Anzu-chan lowered her eyes, averted her gaze, and thrust the package at me without meeting my eyes.
"Here, this is for you."
"...Thanks."
Considering the date hadn't changed yet, the item handed over so brusquely was probably chocolate. I accepted it, but this development was unexpected. I almost stood there dumbfounded. No, no, still got it— I psyched myself up, completely lacking any basis or meaning.
"This is the first time Anzu's ever given something to someone, you know."
"You didn't have to say that!"
Anzu-chan stomped on Kouta-kun's shoe. Kouta-kun just said "It's fine," maintaining the smile an older brother gives his younger sister. Just witnessing that exchange made me feel like the air had grown warmer.
"Oh really? I'm honored."
I felt as moved as a father whose seventeen-year-old daughter, who barely even manages a morning greeting let alone shares meals with him, suddenly gives him a tie on Father's Day. Uh-oh, is that a lie?
Anzu-chan, hunching her shoulders looking uncomfortable, looked up at me and muttered quietly.
"It's not like I'm stingy or anything."
"I know. Thank you."
I bent my knees and decided on the safe option of patting her head. The soles of her feet or the backs of her knees were still too high a hurdle. Just kidding.
"Don't treat me like a kid," Anzu-chan puffed out her cheeks but accepted my hand nonetheless.
"And, this is from me,"
"...Oh?"
I received a similarly wrapped box from the easily flustered Kouta-kun as well. Since he uses "-kun," he's a "man," and since my first-person pronoun is "Mii," I'm also a "man." That's a lie, though.
"I wanted to thank you for the other day. Um, well. Is this... weird, after all?"
"No, it seems pretty normal..."
Thanking someone is a very proper thing to do. The date is slightly odd, though.
"Thank you."
I accepted it. This was the first time I'd put so much care into making sure the surface of a "thank you" didn't dry out.
"Kinda creepy."
Anzu-chan shook her head, dislodging my hand, and insulted her brother while maintaining her pout.
"Maybe it is," Kouta-kun laughed awkwardly, perhaps troubled by her words. Perhaps spurred by guilt at his expression, Anzu-chan quickly added, "It's fine, though." Their sibling relationship seemed unchanged, remaining good.
But if this is thanks, does that mean I need to give something in return? I owe these kids, too.
As I turned over the somewhat conflict-inducing return gifts in my palm, Natsuki-san approached us, dressed like a student teacher. To be specific, her bleached blonde hair flowed straight down, and she wore a women's suit that emphasized her figure, looking like an OL... no, more like one step short of a female teacher. And despite the beautiful, manufactured smile, why did it gnaw at my nerves so gently?