---

---

I obediently climbed onto her back. Since she couldn't get a hold of my right leg, it made for a pretty awkward position. Nevertheless, the nurse effortlessly straightened up, a fearless smile on her face.
"Huh, you're surprisingly small."
"I don't eat much."
"Nah, I meant your *guts*."
*Mind your own business.*
"Alright, customer, where to?"
"...It sounds stupid saying it, but... the treatment room."
"Oh yeah? Must be a recession these days, only finding fares 'round the station..."
"Do your job."
The nurse grumbled, "Talking to your elders like that..." and then took off abruptly.
"Whoa!"
Too fast.
*Way* too fast.
She was a speed demon, easily blowing past the speed limit I'd mentally set.
She stomped across the floor with enough force to obliterate the "No Running in the Hallway" posters, not to mention the existence of the cargo known as me. She leaped down five or six stairs at a time, rounded the landings without losing speed moving from outside to inside...
"Gah! We're gonna hit the wall! We're scraping it! Where are the brakes!"
"Full throttle! Full throttle! Move that Indian to the right!"
This wasn't rescue; it was actively chipping away at whatever sense of security I had left.

She dashed all the way to the Central Ward without even seeming winded and finally slowed to a cruising speed.
"Don't really get it, but... crisis averted? Or maybe we just ran *away* from the crisis?"
"Can we really use the past tense?" I muttered.
Considering there's still a dangerous person right here with me.
"You've got a pretty dangerous look on your face yourself, y'know," the nurse observed.
Well, yeah. True, if I were bleeding like this and grinning 'I'm not dangerous,' *I'd* be the hazardous one. Losing blood, no matter how, probably constitutes a crisis.
As the nurse started moving again, she began asking me questions.
"So, what happened to you? Like, was it an assault?"
"The old man started a one-man riot over the small meal portions."
"The old man? You mean your neighbor, Watarai-san?"
"Yeah."
...She brings up Watarai-san's name instantly just from me saying "old man," huh.
"Watarai-san, huh? Does he have any connection to your girlfriend's assault case?"
"Beats me..."
Just as I was trying to dodge the question, another nurse came walking down the hall towards us.
She gaped at the sight of me, the bloody patient, her mouth half-open in surprise.
"Can you relay instructions for this patient's treatment and preparations for a head scan?" the nurse carrying me requested swiftly. Her colleague dashed off. Seeing her handle it with a seriousness you wouldn't expect from her usual personality—acting without her typical 'screw loose' routine—impressed me enough for some easy praise.
"You're surprisingly serious about your job, huh."
"Yup, I'm a pro finisher, enough to earn the title 'Deadly'."
*No wonder she has no prospects for promotion at this hospital.*
"Ah, the blood..."
Thanks to being jostled around so much, my blood had gotten onto the nurse's clothes too.
"Hm? Oh, is that your blood on my neck? I'd just assumed it was drool."
"Sorry for messing up your clothes."
"Eh, it's fine once in a while, ain't it?"
*Is it really okay?*

The nurse's lips and cheeks twisted into a subtle expression. "It's fine," she replied, as if reading my mind.
"You don't have to force yourself to pull away, y'know. Do your bodily fluids have dissolving properties or something?"
"That's not it, but..."
"Or what, you just don't like people touching you?"
"...That's not... it, but..."
Being touched is just... a little scary.
Under the pale fluorescent lights, the nurse wiped away the dripping blood with her finger.
"Don't worry about it," she said, making that wry face again.
"Blood? You just wash it off."
"Just gotta rely on elbow grease and the washing machine, y'know~" she added, undercutting the serious moment with a casual conclusion.
"Hey, wasn't that a cool line just now?"
Seeing my lack of reaction, she pursed her lips, demanding an answer, seemingly dissatisfied. While relaxing the grip my hand had around her neck, I managed an "Thank you." The nurse responded with a noncommittal "Mhm."
After that, I let my body, senses warped by exhaustion, go completely limp in her care.
Still, the back showered by red water held me up steadfastly.

***

Given the serious matter of the chair-based downpour my head had endured, it was decided, per the nurse's instructions, that I'd undergo a detailed examination late that night.
While waiting for preparations, the nurse brought out gauze, disinfectant, ointment, and scissors.
"We shall now commence a game of Doctor!"
"Something's off about that statement."
I couldn't say exactly what, but something felt warped.
Despite the unease sparked by the nurse snapping the scissors open and shut pointlessly, the 'treatment' proceeded.
"Um, I don't think you need to rub the ointment in *that* hard, it hurts, it really hurts!"
"What're you talking about? You rub salt into heat rash, don't you?"
"Could you make a relevant comparison... Hey, don't cut the gauze *after* you've applied it!"
"You're a boy, aren't you? Endure a little bit."
"What's with that comment, flipping sexism on its head like that?!"
"Whoa there, too many exclamation points! That's not your character, is it?"
"Do you *really* have a nurse's license?"
"Even Dr. Black Jack didn't *want* to be unlicensed, y'know!"
"Stop shaking your hands!"
It was indeed too soon to put the danger in the past tense.

Once the gauze trimming was finished, the treatment room finally fell quiet.
I was left utterly demoralized, my peace of mind apparently the fee for this 'treatment'.
Ignoring me, the nurse slipped her finger through the scissor handle like a ring and spun it cheerfully.
"See, I'm the type who focuses on results, not the process."
*She could just say 'lazy,'* I snarked internally. Voicing it wouldn't help, so I kept the venom to myself.
And why is the doctor just standing there calmly watching this whole spectacle?

Afterward, my 'bell pepper head' underwent meticulous examination and was diagnosed with no internal abnormalities—aside from my thoughts, musings, and general thinking process. However, the scalp had suffered fissures from the man-made meteorite shower courtesy of the heavens nearby, and the impact zone was perilously close to an old wound. Would the old wound accept this newcomer, acknowledge its history and the desires clinging to it, and manage to coexist? Being indifferent neighbors would be acceptable, but a feud breaking out would be unpleasant... I let my thoughts run wild for a moment, blaming it on the injury.

***

It was past 9:30 PM the next day. Watarai-san had been taken away for a 'katsudon party' (police interrogation) on assault charges. I was contemplating the artwork that was Mayu’s sleeping face, my senses thoroughly stimulated, when I had a visitor.
It was the nurse whose speed applied to everything *but* her work efficiency. She must have been off duty, as she was in plain clothes.
"Shall we talk for a bit?"
Since she extended the invitation in surprisingly normal Japanese, I humbly accepted.
The nurse led me to the dimly lit visiting room.
She turned on the light, switched on the heater, settled me onto a sofa, and then stepped out.
About five minutes later, she returned, having procured two steaming cups from somewhere. She offered one to me. As I took it with a nod, I saw the contents were plain hot water. Scalding hot water that felt like it would burn my palms.
"Ah, looks like you got the lucky one."
The nurse picked up the other cup, a green one, and stirred its contents with a silver spoon before plopping down on the sofa opposite me, leaning back casually and propping her feet up on the table as if it were their designated spot.
"Aren't they the same inside?"
"Mine's corn soup."
*What's this broad stirring so damn noisily?*
"Hm? What's that? What's with those greedy eyes? Weren't chew supposed ta hate corn?"
Her clingy stare, the nasty twist of her lips, and her husky, wheedling voice combined exquisitely to thoroughly ruin my mood.
A lump formed in my throat. She remembered that?
Faced with that, I had no choice but to silently accept my fate.
The nurse sipped her yellow liquid with triumphant composure, as if savoring the taste of victory.
"Heard about yesterday, but just how frail are you? Your opponent was an old man, y'know? A grandpa! The kind who asks Mitsuko-san for seconds even after eating lunch! Fighting an old man to a draw? What kind of high schooler are you?"
She wagged the toe of her slipper-clad foot, still resting on the table, at me disapprovingly.
"The whole planet is being stingy sharing its energy with me."
"Don't go tryin' to leech energy off us working folk, schoolboy."
*Getting lectured by society's faulty cog,* I thought, stung by her sticky tone.
Then, the nurse prefaced with, "Well, anyway,"
"You should master karate punches and kicks at our dojo. We allow tuition to be up to two months late."
"My style is correspondence karate."
"'Allowed' just means it's below 'Good' or 'Excellent,' so it ain't exactly praise, ya know."
"We're not talking about university credits here."
What on earth does she want to talk about? Is this a promotional campaign for the 'Society for Worrying About Weak Young People'?
"Let me confirm one thing. Do you have an actual point to this?"
"You bet I do."
She probably knows full well how unsettling that casual tone is.
"I forgot to ask yesterday, but Watarai-san... is he the culprit in the disappearance case or the assault case?"
She leaned forward, questioning me with keen interest.

"Well, I was assaulted by him, at least."
"'Hmm, well, I see,'" she brushed it off vaguely. "So, what about the disappearance case?"
"Don't you find it the least bit questionable that you're asking *me* that?"
"'Cause, y'see, I heard you were bullying Watarai-san, being all persistent and nasty about it. And apparently, you were talking about some girl or whatever. So I figured, that must mean Watarai-san has something shady about him, right?"
She relayed this information, looking rather pleased with herself. *Wonder if she heard it from the high schooler or the middle-aged guy.*
"I admit I committed elder abuse, but that's a whole other story."
*That's a lie, though.* Those words soaked into the hot water in my mouth, turning to bubbles that never reached the nurse.
"'Seriously~?'" she pouted, her tone slightly flat with disappointment.
"You sound disappointed. Did you have some other conviction?"
"Mmm, not really. It's just like my hopes just deflated."
The nurse leaned back again, utilizing the backrest.
Maybe I should just wait for the conversation to fizzle out.
But no, I have to make this person understand. To be absolutely sure. So there are no lingering issues.
For Mayu's sake.
"There's one thing I can tell you."
"Uh-huh, uh-huh," the nurse said, leaning forward again. As promised, I told her just one thing.
"Mayu isn't the culprit of anything."
The nurse blinked naturally at the single fact I revealed.
"Wasn't suspecting your girlfriend or anything~" the nurse feigned ignorance.
"If you're going to lie, you should at least make it either interesting or believable. Now then, let me ask you something in return."
"Hm?" the nurse responded, ready for the question with a neutral posture.
"Can you give me a reason you were targeting Mayu—one that *doesn't* involve being blinded by her beauty—that I can accept?"
Honestly, I didn't think I could come up with a model answer to the question I'd just posed.
After taking a moment to consider such a difficult question, the nurse moved her lips.
"Are you pinning this false accusation squarely on me? I wasn't practicing New Year's mochi pounding on your girlfriend's head or anything, okay?"
"That's not what I meant. I mean the reason you slipped poison into Mayu's food."
"Hm?"
The nurse expressed a question mark with a tilt of her head and wide eyes.
"What on earth are you talking about now?"
"And related to that, didn't you witness the corpse of Nawa Mitsuaki?"
"'Nkyuu?'" The nurse let out a questioning sound that made me want to crush her windpipe.
"The reason for Watarai-san's sudden decline was because he ingested the food Mayu left behind. At first, I thought it might be the cook, but because only the person serving the meals can decide who gets which specific tray, I figured it had to be you."
*So that's why Mayu disliked this person so intensely. She's a girl whose instincts surpass her intellect.*
"Was it because you saw Mayu in the same place when you found Nawa Mitsuaki? So you jumped to conclusions, treated her like the killer, and did such a thing?"
"Haven't the foggiest what you're on about."
The nurse shrugged. I narrowed my eyes in return (though not my shoulders).

"I happen to be great friends with the police lady, you know."
The nurse swallowed, her face taking on the kind of blank expression I associated with my 'friend' on the force.
"It's less trouble for me to hear it directly from the source than to get a report from the police about their interrogation. Because then I can avoid an official meeting with Miss Geronimo. So, if you tell me right here, right now, I won't make any calls to the police."
*That's a lie, though. Even if she stays silent, I have no intention of playing the informant.*
Whether she was deep in thought or just feigning contemplation, the nurse covered her face with her hands, shifting into park and ceasing all movement.
As if I'd lost track of time, I waited for either her or the stillness to break, gently swirling the surface of the hot water that still held its heat.
...Luckily, a sign appeared before boredom could completely overwhelm me.
A long sigh escaped from the gaps between the nurse's hands.
Then her hands came away from her face, and her gaze met mine.
"'Ahaha... you figured it out after all.'"
As if her previous denials had evaporated, without apology or resistance, without evasion or pretense, seemingly yielding to the implied threat of authority, she offered an innocent smile that only reached her eyes.
......So, it *was* her.
"'So you *were* the real killer! *Bam!*'"
"'To put it mildly: Hell no!'"
Ah, seems I was wrong. Though if she had admitted it, that would have caused its own problems.
"You saw the body, right?"
"Yup," she affirmed that much.
"And you saw a living girl there too, right?"
"Right, right. I was working 'til late, kinda wandering the halls. Then I happened to spot this girl clip-clopping around the second floor of the old ward."
"...I see. So that girl was, indeed, Mayu."
"Yup, yup. Your idiot girlfriend."
"Hey, Mayu's a brilliant, talented girl when I'm not around."
"So you're just the idiot boyfriend dragging her down, huh?"
"That, I can accept."
"You're one weird kid, y'know. Anyway, getting back on topic... Lured by the scent of trouble, I kinda ditched my duties, waited 'til your girlfriend left, took a peek, and bam! Nawa Mitsuaki's become refrigerator fodder! I was totally floored!"
She spread her hands, mimicking an explosion. *She’s wide open right now,* for some reason, the thought of attacking flashed through my mind.
"So, much to everyone's inconvenience, you mistook Mayu for the killer who'd claimed Nawa Mitsuaki's life for cheap and stuffed her in the fridge. And then you served her poisoned food."
"'Mhm mhm. Hmm mhm mhm.'"
The nurse fidgeted, sounding suspiciously like Itsuki, trying to obscure the point in a haze of 'mhms'.
"'Mhm mhm, right then, let's move on to the next topic! Wanna talk about how to cut disposable chopsticks with a business card?'"
She was wringing her hands or dramatically shaking her body to loosen stiff shoulders. Maybe she was embarrassed about misunderstanding Mayu and defensively trying to steer the conversation away.

"'What should I do~?'" I teased, dragging it out, sipping the scalding water, waiting to see her next move.
"'Keep warm and get some sleep! Later!'" The nurse tried to bolt.
"Hold it right there!"
I stopped her with my words as she genuinely tried to leave (since trying to grab her shoulder felt like inviting a joint lock), then sipped the hot water to calm myself. It felt like it was scalding not just my tongue but my entire esophagus.
"'Gosh, this is tricky. If rumors start that I'm putting dibs on a patient, my husband will kill me.'"
"You were married?"
That was a bit surprising. So there are people who can't settle down even with a family.
"'Yup. Had a delicious four-year-old son, too.'"
*Um... that's meant as a compliment, I guess, but it sounds really bad. Seriously bad. Plus, she used the past tense.*
"Hm? Wondering why the past tense?"
"Please don't start a Q&A session with voices only you can hear."
But I was all ears.
"'Cause I got divorced, 'bout half a year ago. My son chose his dad, so now I'm completely single."
"...Uh... so your husband wouldn't actually get angry then, would he?"
"'Not as a wife, but as a person. He was a neat freak, and I was head over heels for that part of him before we got married.'"
"And after you got married?"
"Sooo, what were we talking about?"
*What a brazenly forceful way to change the subject.* But getting persistent with this woman felt like asking to get punched, so I tucked my tail between my legs and decided to play it safe.
"We paused right after the 'The killer is you!' reveal, went to commercial, and now we're back."
"'Oh right. Hmm, well, I already admitted it, didn't I?'"
"So you did. Then, why did you do such a thing?"
To my field-trip-like question, the nurse scratched her cheek but parted her lips to answer.
"'Cause I'm Justice Hanako, born from a sense of righteousness, y'know? I was gonna punish her before handing her over to the cops. Mitsuaki, y'see, she and I were good friends. So, I personally needed to avenge her. 'Cause if she got caught, I couldn't punish her with my own hands, right?"
"...I see."
*So it's highly likely that Nawa-san, the beautiful middle schooler (while alive), was also an oddball.*
"'And also to pay the 'moon-viewing fee.'" As she confused me with this slightly cryptic added reason, her defiant fingertips retracted, and she raised her hands in a gesture of surrender. "'But still, she didn't eat any of it! Corn salad, pickles, miso soup, red salmon—she avoided everything, right?'"
*I also feel like her food choices didn't exactly align with a modern kid's palate.*
"'Thanks to that, I kept putting off calling the cops, again and again, until I was just like, screw it!'"
"'How could she tell which ones were poisoned, anyway?'" the nurse asked, as if suspecting psychic powers.
Regarding that, I answered, my shoulders tensing just slightly.
"Our skin remembers, I guess. Both mine and Mayu's. Because we were made to eat so much of it, long ago. Even when we learned what was in it, it was all we could eat."

Perhaps because she hadn't read my file, the nurse blinked repeatedly, as if encountering an alien species for the first time.
But whether out of empathy or indifference, the nurse didn't press further, just saying "Is that so" and letting it go.
"But it's surprising."
"What is?"
"You seem to treasure your girlfriend so much that, frankly, it wouldn't be surprising if you violently beat me to death right here, but you're strangely calm."
"'The calm before the storm?'" she teased, keeping me in check.
It was true. If it weren't for the debt I owed her, I would have proceeded with retaliation.
"Unfortunately, I can't truly view you as an enemy and direct my anger at you."
"'The curse of beauty, huh.'"
"No one was talking about a *memorandum*... The poison you prepared... Looking at the results, thanks to the unseen efforts of the 'waste-not-want-not ghost' who forbids leftovers, I was able to use the fact that I'd inadvertently drugged Watarai-san to corner him. More importantly, I managed to avoid getting killed. If he hadn't been weakened, body and mind, he probably would have smashed my skull in and killed me last night."
So, ultimately, she ended up being an unwitting contributor to resolving the incident.
So my bad luck *had* been working its magic after all. Though ensuring things went smoothly was, yet again, impossible.
Emboldened by having her malicious 'accomplishment' praised, the nurse put a hand to her chin.
"'How about pioneering a new genre? The Poisonous Beauty Detective!'"
"'Good idea. We can shorten it to Poison Hag.'"
"'Show some respect!!'"
She vaulted over the table, landed beside me, and grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, shaking me back and forth. "Ow, ow, ow!"
*What the heck is a 'Bi Fujin' anyway? Making up words that sound like chemical names when you write 'em in katakana...*
After being subjected to a vigorous neck workout, my head, already presenting a snowscape thanks to the bandages, started to feel foggy.
Having finished her unjust punishment, the nurse simply stayed put, having effectively switched seats to become my neighbor. Her presence felt oppressive; frankly, I wished she would just go home.
"But, well, showing me respect might be a bit hard, huh? Sorry 'bout that," the nurse bowed her head with belated humility.
"'Picking the wrong target for the poison, that's my bad. Deeply regret it.'"
The 'poison hag' bobbed her head twice, hunching over.
"So, let's call this matter settled... Right, so, was old man Watarai the murderer then?"
Having unilaterally declared 'End of Part One,' she casually leaned an elbow on my shoulder.
"You really want to know something like that?"
"'Of course! As the shadow Head Nurse, I gotta stay informed about any incidents happening in my backyard, y'know.'"
*Sounds more like a mystery-loving busybody to me.*
"'Besides, I wanna know how Mitsuaki's life ended. When they make her grave and I go visit, it'll give me something to talk to her about, right?'"
...Well, fine, I guess.

"Watarai-san being the culprit... Yes, that would be desirable."
The nurse tilted her head at my evasive phrasing, then immediately straightened it.
"So why'd you finger him?"
"'Intuition.' Is that not good enough?"
"'Intuition' from the detective sounds a little shaky, don'tcha think?"
*Since when was I assigned that role? Is this 'playing detective' game still going on?*
"Checking fingerprints on the body would have been the easy way to make Watarai-san a suspect, though," I grumbled slightly, before adding, "but there's no decisive proof."
"The first thing I suspected was his feet."
"Athlete's foot?"
"You should worry about the bugs in your *own* head. A few days ago, remember? Mayu told me about it, and we went to the old ward to see the body. Back then, someone else had also paid a visit to the corpse's 'residence.'"
"And that was Watarai-san?"
"Exactly. Afterwards, we went straight to the convenience store. Everyone else I saw there was the type to improperly wander outside in sandals or slippers, but Watarai-san alone was wearing clean shoes, not his usual bathroom sandals. That struck me as odd."
"I suspected it was because the footing in the old ward is treacherous—the same reason *we* had worn proper shoes."
"Then there's the fact I knew about his 'chronic condition.'"
"Bedwetting?"
"Could you stop being realistic only about things like that? He's a stalker."
"'No wonder! I kept feeling eyes drilling into my back lately!'"
"How pitiful, living a life hounded by debt collectors. No, I mean he frequently went to check on his granddaughter—ah, Nagase Itsuki. He'd go to check up on her. Especially at night, it seems he went to gaze at her sleeping face almost every evening."
He'd go to the West Wing using flimsy excuses like 'visiting my wife' or 'going to the convenience store.'
"'Creepy!'"
The nurse's opinion was honest and harsh.
"'Grandfather or not, relative or not, just lump him in with the stalkers and toss him out!'"
She rejected the grandfather—who was merely checking on his granddaughter—with surprisingly excessive, hateful vehemence.
"Have you been a victim of stalking or something?"
"Nope. But I hate persistent people."
"Ah, so that's why you married the neat freak?"
"'Ha! *He* was the one obsessively clinging to cleanliness! Whatever, it doesn't matter now.'"
She nudged me in the ribs. It hurt a bit, but considering I'd just poked at an old wound of hers, I guess I got off cheap.
"And that's why I ended up suspecting Watarai-san so strongly."
"'Don't skip the middle part!'"
"The fact that he goes to Itsuki's room at night means he had ample opportunity and time to come into contact with Nawa Mitsuaki."
In response, the nurse hummed vaguely, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.
"Well, okay, maybe... but there's something that doesn't add up."
"What's that?"
"Why would Watarai-san be going to hang out at a place like where the body was?"
Ah... that.