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"Saying 'give her back' sounds righteous, but 'hand her over' makes you sound like the villain."
Like a magician, Sugawara produced a knife out of nowhere. In contrast, all I had in my hand was a rock I’d picked up. I’d been running around nonstop ever since leaving Yuna’s apartment, so there’s no way I’d have had time to prepare any weapon. Besides, could I really wander around in public carrying something like that?
"Ryaah!"
Anyway, I tried throwing the rock. Since I threw it with my left hand, it flew off in completely the wrong direction before quickly falling to the ground. The rock clattered away and disappeared into the darkness. Silence fell between me and Sugawara, who had been leisurely watching its trajectory. Awkward. I felt like my hero rating had just plummeted.
"Attack over?"
If I’d at least thrown it underhand, maybe it would have reached Sugawara, I vaguely regretted. Just kidding, though.
"Well, I mean, even Shigeno-kun apparently took a month or two to throw a ball properly with his non-dominant hand. It’s not like it’s gonna go well that easily, right?"
"What are you talking about...?"
I wanted to go pick it up, and there was even an atmosphere like he might let me if I asked, but I decided against it.
So, it takes several months to throw a rock properly. And proper people don’t throw rocks at others. Since I’m not proper in either respect, I wonder which one I should change.
"Pulling myself together, I’ll try saying this."
No weapon. My right hand doesn’t move. Maybe my wounds reopened from running too much without rest, because a fever started to set in, and I could feel my head spinning. My scalp ached as if it were being twisted off, and I had no sensation in my overexerted lower body.
Still, I had to stand before him, before Mayu.
Whether I had confidence or not, whether there was a chance or not, my body moved according to duty.
"You should just... end."
I couldn’t declare it was "the end." Why? Because my tongue got twisted.
Sugawara let go of Mayu’s hand. As Sugawara walked, Mayu trotted after him, seemingly without a thought in her head.
Watching them, I had some thoughts, or maybe I didn't, while I considered what to do with my clenched left fist. What would be the best way to deal with Sugawara and his blade, who would surely attack in a few seconds? Should I cast aside all shame and appearances and pick up another rock to throw? I just proved it, but precise control is impossible with my non-dominant left hand. In that case, I have no choice but to engage him directly. How primitive do I have to get? Not that I mind; if I can reach the primordial, surely there'll be some god there who has transcended all the absurdities and laws of this world. Help me, God.

"Ahem, you’re wide open, to put it mildly, but is it okay if I stab you?"
"Huh? No, that’d be a mistake."
Sugawara, having closed the distance in an instant, thrust his knife with a perplexed look. I twisted my body to avoid it, but he lightly shaved off some flesh from my shoulder. Just that made my upper body sway, exposing my torso defenselessly. Sugawara came at me again with the knife. I instinctively swung my left hand, and he calmly aimed for that left arm. "Gugyaaah!" A simple, flat scream synchronized with the sensation of my arm being torn apart from the inside, flesh rent asunder. I wanted to believe "Abeshi!" and "Tawaba!" were still a long way off, but who knew.
I collapsed to the ground, trying to press down on the bleeding wound. But then I realized I couldn't even do that, and as fat tears streamed down, I snapped my head up with a glare. What a useless body. Sugawara stood close by, the tip of his bloodstained knife. Ignoring both, I looked up at Mayu. Mayu, too, was looking down at me vacantly. Our eyes met. Just that made me feel a little happy.
Also, the fact that Mayu had her hands clasped behind her back bothered me just a little.
"This is a problem. I was planning to kill you last."
Sugawara shook his head, as if to say, "Good grief." He seemed disheartened that his plan had fallen apart.
Serves you right. As if I'd let you decide the order I get killed in any further.
"Besides, what did an imposter like you come here for? 'Give her back,' 'hand her over'... truly audacious, aren't we?"
"To avenge Nagase."
"Liar."
"It's a lie, of course."
Even I, in my own weird way, try to be sincere and not shirk responsibility, so I won't misrepresent her dying wish. Nagase Tooru, surely, even at this moment, doesn't want revenge.
Because Nagase didn't want "revenge taken for me," she just "wanted to be saved."
"I know that, damn it! Shut up! *I* need to shut up!"
When I yelled into the night park, the gushing of blood intensified. Sugawara swung his knife carelessly. I became an active earthworm, rolling around on the ground to evade it. Grit and dust clung to the back of my head with a rustling sound. As I rolled, I pictured a pale white lake, unrelated to the park or Sugawara. A place like an underground lake deep within a dim grotto. The rippling of the water's surface, resembling blue flames, grew more violent, and someone's hand emerged.
That hand was waving violently up and down. A gesture that seemed to be beckoning me, or perhaps rejecting me.
"Gh!" While I was dodging, he must have swung down again, as I was cut near my hip. Something like a red fissure ran before my eyes, and the lake vanished. All that remained was the ground, boasting a realistic hardness.
"Seriously, I'm struggling to understand what you even came here for."
"Don't worry, don't be pessimistic. I don't get it either."
Even as we talked, Sugawara's knife rained down. Was he being considerate, allowing me to dodge them half-heartedly? He still wasn't aiming for my legs. My upper body was exposed to a rain of blades. With sickening thuds and slashes, my flesh was carved away.
"You didn't actually come here with the happy-go-lucky idea that you could snatch Mayu back in that state and get a happy ending, did you?"
"No way! Well, I won't say I didn't have some faint hope like that. If a miracle happened, y'know—
Gueh!"
I was kicked hard. My instep was also sent flying upwards. Goten, goten, I writhed and rolled on the ground like a fish just pulled onto land. What a one-sided last boss battle. The protagonist is too weak. I don't mind a low-level challenge run, but I wish they'd come up with a few more countermeasures. At this rate, even experiencing it as a masochist protagonist isn't fun at all.
"Hmm."
The last boss seemed to be furrowing his brow, troubled. He looked perplexed by my worthlessness and the lack of a satisfying fight. Sugawara was now experiencing the luxurious problem that only the strong can have.
That aside, I glanced at Mayu standing beside me. I felt healed. Now, back to my conversation with Sugawara.
"You seemed like a more important character. Could it be you're... disposable?"
"Nope, I'm the protagonist of this story."
Stabbed again. He didn't even give me time to add "That's a lie, though" in my head. The guy just can't read the room.
"My bad, protagonist. Nah, I'll concede that title to you. Good for you. But Mayu is mine. Thanks for taking care of her until now, much appreciated."
"......You. Do you even remember what you did to Mayu when you were kids, saying that?"
I felt a surge of anger, so I made my scant remaining blood boil, my breath growing ragged. I clenched my back teeth, unused recently, forcibly stirring something up within me. But the October night was too cold to make my guts boil with rage. My body trembled involuntarily, my teeth chattering. The bleeding must be bad, as usual.
"So, how much of your memory is back?"
"How would I know that myself? But Mayu is mine, right? I remember that. Oh, and I also remembered your father is a good-for-nothing. And various other things I was taught."
"That's pretty much everything, isn't it? Now I have no hesitation in killing you."
I declared, trying to sound cool. The knife flew at me. I didn't even feel like dodging anymore. I was stabbed in the shoulder.
"Y'know. I've hated you since elementary school—"
I hadn't expected such a spiteful remark to escape my own lips, and my eyes widened as I said it. Sugawara also scowled, "Huh?" and asked with dark eyes what I was talking about. ...Ah. Now that I remembered, I was gradually getting pissed off. Come to think of it, I had thought things like that a few times, childishly.
"You forgot everything and even went and made friends. While you were playing soccer with Kaneko and the others, I was getting my chest groped by some girl I didn't really get, and playing in the pool, you know!"
"Isn't that a rather enviable story?"
"Exactly, shut up. That's not it. Ah, do I even hold a grudge? Probably not, really. But I hated you, obviously. On the other hand, I also thought I didn't care. What should I really have done? Should I have apologized instead of hating you?"
On behalf of my father?
You've got to be kidding. As if I could properly stand in for *that* father.
"I don't need your apology. I'll just take my revenge on you myself, so it's fine."
"You already are, aren't you? It's ongoing, Nagase. Nagase, Nagase, a long saga. She's what you stole from me."
Give her back. I thrust out my left hand. It was lightly slashed by the knife, my fingertips flicked aside in the process. Still, I held my hand up, as if reaching beyond Sugawara. Perhaps because I'd been kicked, my throat started to twitch, and I worried if I could even speak properly. My back was enveloped in a maddening chill, so intense with cold sweat and shivers that I wanted to claw at it, and I retched several times. Tears kept blurring my vision; moving my arm felt like parting waves.
"Give everything back, you crazy bastard!"
"Like I'd give her back, idiot. Mayu is mine."
"You just don't get it, do you, pal! I'm telling you to give her back, so just shut up and—"
"Um, y'know—"
"—if you give her back,"
It was an overly abrupt, carefree voice.
A round voice, like someone innocently bouncing on a trampoline. Like fluffy cotton drifting through the air, that voice danced between me and Sugawara. Twirling leisurely, the utterance, ignoring the speed of sound, reached us both without obstruction. Sugawara’s hand also stopped, and only the drops of blood dripping from his knife wet the ground, pota, pota, like the world’s second hand. That regular, distinct sound pulled me back from my daze.
That's right. If my left hand is useless anyway.
"What's wrong, Maa-chan?"
And then.
It was me who asked first. And then, I held out my left hand to her.
If I can't win fighting Sugawara, doing this is far more meaningful.
Mayu was smiling broadly. "That's rare when we're outside," I thought, also carefree as I received that smile. Then again, has there ever been a time when I *wasn't* in the mood for her smile?
Mayu smoothly brought her right hand, which she’d held behind her back as if hiding a bouquet, out to the front.
In that hand was a stainless steel kitchen knife, the kind Mayu used for making yakisoba and other things, and, um, other than that, I could only think of bad-kid ways to use it. Sugawara wasn't shocked by it. Of course not; they'd been together, so he'd know Mayu was carrying a knife. But there might have been something he found strange. In fact, I was also perplexed. Enough to forget I was covered in blood and trembling.
Why, in this situation, would she show it off as if boasting, and say that? There was no preamble to Mayu's next action. None of the hesitation an amateur might show when stabbing someone, like drawing the blade back for momentum. Because she had no reservations, her actions were easy, light, and seamless.
The knife she gripped, sssht—
Zzzt.
"............Huh?"
A sense of exhilaration.
It was.
As she crisply stabbed Sugawara in the chest, Mayu grasped my outstretched hand.
"I like *this* Mii-kun better."
Just like a child asking for a toy from a different shelf.
Mayu, with her mouth and hand, tore Sugawara apart. Sugawara’s lips twitched. He was trembling. I was trembling too. A flood was happening inside my body. It felt like everything was crumbling down from my feet with a clatter. Even though I should be sitting, the ground tilted, the horizon warped. Common sense undulated, and as if the night itself were being torn to shreds, an unknown light flickered and searched within my eyes. Amidst all the distortions, only Mayu and the knife in her hand stretched out straight. It was something certain.
Sugawara dropped to his knees, comparing Mayu and the knife that seemed to extend from her hand, piercing his own chest. He looked like he was trying to say something, but for some reason, his voice wouldn't come out. Realizing this, Sugawara’s eyes changed color in an instant. Veins bulged, gyut, on the back of his right hand holding the knife.
I instinctively, ungracefully, pitched forward. In the midst of that movement, I snatched the knife from Sugawara’s right hand and collapsed face down, becha, without breaking my fall. Kiii, the tip of the knife I gripped drew an unsteady arc on the ground. I stared at the semicircle of bloodstains, my breath ragged. Straining my eyeballs, I looked up at the sky.
Before the night sky stood Mayu, her expression largely unchanged, and it looked like I could peek up her skirt. Discovering such a thing while dying and desperate, I deserved respect. That's a lie, though.
"Because— he's kind, and cool, and—"
Meanwhile, Mayu, speaking with a beaming, innocent smile, gripped the knife’s handle with both hands and twisted. Sugawara’s chest was, literally, churned. Gope, Sugawara coughed up something like blood mixed with internal organs from his wound and nose.
"And most importantly, he's Mii-kun! Kyaha—!"
With the expression of a dreamy maiden, gyuri, buchi, Mayu forcefully tore apart Sugawara’s insides, this and that. You’re too wild, Maa-chan.
But more than Sugawara’s dying moments, I was, above all, captivated by Mayu’s earlier words. It felt like my own brain was being churned; no clear answer emerged, not even a single concrete opinion. Yet, the color of my swirling brain was warm-toned, blowing away any feelings of rejection or disgust, and it tingled as if flowers were about to burst into bloom. The sensation of my brain cells popping, puchi-puchi, was strangely pleasant.
Aah, I'm so happy.
Unable even to utter a death cry, Sugawara had his organs gouged out in a swastika shape. Watching this, I reveled in my own sense of fulfillment. With just one word, my life is dramatically repainted. "Love is a miracle," I hummed.
I'm not sure if she drew a golden rectangle, but when the knife's rotation reached its peak, *bakin!* the sound of the blade snapping echoed. The sound was sharp, as if drawing a white line in the air. Hearing it, Mayu switched tasks, releasing her hands from the knife's handle. Sugawara, as expected, seemed to be dead.
Tossing aside the falling Sugawara and the knife, *poi*, Mayu crouched beside me. And then, she pulled me up.
"Mii-kun, time to get up!"
Muii— she forcefully grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up. "Hey, that's where I just got cut, y'know-ssu." Protesting like that would be the height of folly, so I accepted it, tears streaming down. I endured even as Mayu’s fingers poked, guchi-guchi, at my wounds, spreading them open. Suuper painful. But thanks to that, my hazy consciousness was sharply honed, and my eyes snapped open.
I couldn't just toss away the knife I'd snatched from Sugawara, so for now, I stabbed it into his leg. It was also to check if he was alive or dead, but there was no sign of reaction at all.
"Ah, come to think of it, Maa-chan, you promised Mii-kun that using knives on people is a 'no-no!?'"
"Hmm, we did have something like that, didn't we? Maa-chan really is a smart girl to remember that."
"This time, it's 'don't mind, don't mind'—"
Promises also take a break, take a break.
"Okay, I won't miiind."
"Woo—!" Maa-chan and I got excited. It felt like we were back to our usual vibe, and I felt relieved.

Somehow I got up and stood on unsteady feet. The ground felt like it was wobbling like a loose tooth, but that was probably because my knees were all wobbly. Our positions were now reversed; I looked down at Sugawara, collapsed on the ground. His body was rigid, his expression frozen in shock. It was unclear if he had accurately understood why he was killed, or by whom. No way, right? By Mayu, right?
If I said I hadn't predicted this development at all, that would be a lie, though.
But I hadn't anticipated her motive at all.
However, and I know I'm repeating myself, but that doesn't matter. I don't possess the gentlemanly sensibility to feel the bloom of youth with a rival like Sugawara and shed tears at his death. Sugawara died. That's all.
Kuhahaha.
The real Mii-kun was killed by Maa-chan.
And now, Mayu and I are close like this, and she hugs me, cooing, "Mii-kyuun."
The bad guy is dead, and I rescued the princess.
Isn't this a perfect happy ending?
"Objective complete, I guess."
I raised my tattered left arm, celebrating victory. The taste of victory smelled like the blood flowing from my shoulder.
My blood smelled gamey. It gave off the same scent as the animals my sister used to tear apart. That blood, for some reason, rained down on a picture book lying on the ground, transforming its fancy cover into a scene of carnage.
"Ehh—hyahhya."
First, deadpan.
"Eahyahhya."
Next, exaggeratedly.
"Eeeeeeehhhh ah ah ah ah hyaaa— hyahyahhahyahhya hyahhya— hya—ah hya— ah hya— hya— ah ah ah ah aaaaaah— aaaah— aah— aah... Aaaah—ah!! Finally, with feeling."
I kept laughing.
Until I went mad, blood kept dripping, and my laughter never stopped.
After playing, it's time to clean up. That was thoroughly drilled into us at the kindergarten I attended.
"And so, let the cleanup begin."
I laughed so much my throat was shot, and the taste of sand and blood seeped through. My voice was also hoarse and low, like I was chewing on stones.
"Ehh, Maa-chan dooosen't like that kind of thing."
She stomped her foot twice on the ground in protest. Ah, that kind of attitude, yes. I gave a thumbs up.
"Sorry, Mii-kun's kinda covered in wounds and about to die right now."
After all, I've got cuts all over my body, and the bleeding has barely stopped. I feel a chill, as if experiencing winter two months early. The blood trickling down my skin isn't warm at all; it's like water.
"Mmmph. Mii-kun's uselessness has been really conspicuous lately, hasn't it—"
"Truly. I'm Mr. Jalopy."
"Mii-kuuun."
"Hmm?"
So, since it couldn't be helped, I had Maa-chan help me dispose of the body.
The two of us kept walking through the night, carrying Sugawara’s corpse to a place far from human habitation. Although we avoided main roads along the way, there was no sign of anyone passing by. Everyone refraining from going out at night was surely due to the influence of Sugawara having committed those serial bizarre murders. Man, that was a help.
My destination was a privately owned mountain behind a rich person’s mansion. I’d visited here several times in the past, forced to accompany my sister on her animal hunts. The son of the family, who had been frequenting this mountain since his student days, was apparently arrested a few months ago after a good citizen beat his face to an unrecognizable pulp, so it should be convenient. There was no sign of anyone maintaining the mountain, and it seemed no one but that guy ever entered it.
Mayu, behind me, in charge of carrying Sugawara’s legs, spoke to me in a sweet voice.
"Lovey-dooovey!"
She flashed me a peace sign with a smile. Her right shoulder and arm were sticky with Sugawara’s splattered blood, but I wondered if she found it unpleasant. "When we get back, we'll have to do laundry," I replied, returning the peace sign. Since I was carrying Sugawara by hooking my left arm under his chin, it was a very cramped peace sign, though.
"How nostalgic. Maa-chan remembers coming to the mountain for a field trip, y'know."
"Yeah, we did."
"Heh." I remembered too. I'm pretty sure I got lost and rolled down the mountain.
"And then, I ate a bento with Mii-kun! Maa-chan and I shared a mikan orange from our snacks!"
"That time, I forgot the strawberry-shaped container and went home, y'know. Mmph, I'm still down about it."
If it had been my sister, there's no way we would've shared. She'd be in charge of removing the white pith.
After climbing halfway up the mountain, we passed through the trees and went a little deeper in. I wondered where to bury him, but it was troublesome, or rather, I started to feel like I might die too if we didn't hurry, so I put Sugawara down in a suitable spot.
"Alright, shall we bury this guy?"
"This?"
Mayu pointed at Sugawara without a shred of sentiment. "Yeah," I nodded, then crouched down and stuck my fingers into the ground.
"We don't have any tools, so this looks like it'll take time."
Will my consciousness last that long? At the very least, I can't collapse here.
"Even if we hide this— it's not a treasure, so it's no fuuun."
Bubuu— Mayu pouted. No sign of her helping at all. Hmm, what should I do? If I'm alone, I definitely won't make it in time. That said, everything's already too late anyway.
I dug into the earth, zaku-zaku, with just my left hand. The mountain soil was cool and felt like lifting soft stones. Swallowed by the night's presence, facing the ground on all fours like a starving animal, I had the illusion that I was ceasing to be human. Maybe the strong smell of blood was also a cause.
Then, Mayu crouched down on my side, with Sugawara between us, and dug her nails into the soil with a "Nigyaa—!"
"Oh, are you going to help?"
"Can't be helped, nyaa-nyaa. It's a wife's duty to support her unreliable Mii-kun, y'know."
"I cause you so much trouble, goho-goho." It wasn't an act; I coughed, and something surged up. Ah, stomach acid.
"You really do—!" Bari-bari, she scratched my face. I resignedly accepted it and endured the blood oozing from the new cuts.
While I was at it, I swallowed down my puke too. The sour, persistent taste of stomach acid coated my throat, and ahh, this is baaad.
I miss Maa-chan's home cooking. Actually, I don't remember eating for several days.
Together, Mayu and I dug Sugawara’s grave. The sound of scraping earth resembled the sound of a shovel tip dragging, from some time ago. The branches and leaves of the trees growing around us swayed in the wind, and insects sang as if boasting of autumn.
In the mountains, where the bluish tint of night and the moon’s radiance didn't reach, I struggled to make out Mayu's face or Sugawara's expression, even though they should have been right nearby. No matter how close you are, it’s as if you can’t read a person’s heart at all—it's black, dark, and insubstantial. How many more years will I live in a world like this?
Truth be told, maybe I love Mayu because she's the "easiest to understand."
"Hey, hey, Mii-kun."
As we dug, Mayu called out to me. I scraped the dirt packed under my left fingernails against a stone at my feet to clean them, then looked up. Mayu’s reptilian eyes were fixed on me.
"What is it?"
"This person, who were they again?"
My heart was struck hard. The base of my ears throbbed, doku-doku. Mayu, looking genuinely puzzled, pursed her lips and stared intently at Sugawara’s death-mask face. Then her head tilted even more.
"Maa-chan kinda feels like she's seen him before. Haven't you, Mii-kun?"
"Dunno. Isn't he a stranger?"
That's a lie, though.
"Hmm. I see."
Mayu, answering like that, was crying. Unconsciously, as if without any emotion, Mayu never once paid it any mind. Nevertheless, tears endlessly spilled from both her eyes, raining down on the corpse.
But that too quickly mingled with the remnants of upturned earth and vanished into the night's darkness. I pretended not to see those tears and continued to dig, gari-gari, like a hungry ghost clawing for food.
Eventually, I was drenched in sweat, and around the time I too started dripping, bota-bota, as if shedding tears and moistening the earth, I realized it was blood, and at the same time decided, "This should be enough." The hole was finished.
All that's left is to hide the serial killer’s body here.
"Alright, let's bury him."
Sugawara. Mii-kun. Sin. The past. And, a big lie.
"Konnyaro, konnyaro."
I kicked the pile of dug-up earth, covering Sugawara. Mayu, who was watching, started to imitate me, singing cheerfully, "Nyaaro, nyaaro—." Occasionally, getting carried away, she'd kick my leg too. That huurts-ssu.
"Nyaroo roo—"
"Oh, how sudden."
Eventually, Mayu’s self-made song infected even me, and we finished burying Sugawara in high spirits. Along the way, I also tossed in the murder weapon, the knife, poi-poi. We stomped on the piled earth to pack it down firmly, and because I didn't want Sugawara coming out even if he revived, I stuck a small tree branch in as a grave marker. I'll never visit this grave in my life, so sleep peacefully. And return to the earth. Become fertilizer, make flowers bloom.
All that's left is to pray that no talk of developing this mountain ever comes up.