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"Yeah, that's right. I came up here, went to my room, and then realized, 'Oh, I lost it!' I rushed back in a panic."
".........Huh."
That hit a nerve, in a bad way. His response was hesitant. It looked like the college student's impression of us had worsened. I wondered if he'd been claiming this spot as his territory for a long time. Was he bored, or what?
"Well then, I'll give it back... or rather, what should I call this... It's hard to put into words. Well, it's returning a lost item, I guess."
The college student type, without any particular self-consciousness, handed the card key to my free right hand, and then, once again, his gaze was drawn to the string on my pinky. I felt a little smug, thinking that I could distinguish normal people from not-so-normal people by their reaction to this string, and that it could also serve as a protective charm. That's a lie, though... Come to think of it, that Luigi guy and the girl hadn't reacted at all.
"In this case, a ten percent reward seems a bit off, so please take this instead."
I took out a pack of cigarettes from my pocket and pressed it into the college student's hand. The college student, somewhat passively, accepted it and returned an empty-sounding, "Well now, this is quite something." Mm, handled that smoothly.

Now, since I'd said it, I figured I should head back to room 1701 and turn off the phone or something, so I turned around, swinging Mayu's legs. This centrifugal force isn't about to become a habit, not at all.
And the reason for stopping the phone... is because it's noisy, yeah. I came to this hotel seeking peace, so I either don't get involved with things that seem like they could become a breeding ground for malice, or I eliminate them. I'll show one stance or the other. Besides, wouldn't it suck if Ma-chan snapped and yelled, "It's so noisy!" and then strangled me or something? Hahaha. Well, that kind of possibility is business as usual, so I'm not going to start worrying about it now.

Just as I started to turn back, the college student type jogged up beside me, calling out, "Hey, hey."
"So, about that, as thanks for finding the key, could you let me take a little peek inside your room?"
"Our room... you mean?"

"That's right. There's something I want to check, to see if it's different from the room I'm staying in."
The college student type didn't wait for me to say, "Sure, go ahead," and clearly maintained a parallel speed intending to accompany us. I couldn't tell if he held some conviction that no one in this world would leave a favor unreturned, or if he was just generally a proactive person, but his actions contained not a shred of hesitation.
Still, his attitude of trying to interfere so much bothered me. Was he suspicious of us?
If so, it might be better to let him into the room rather than awkwardly refuse. That way, this college student type would become an accomplice in trespassing.

Mayu voiced her objection to the inclusion of such a large foreign object. "I don't want to. Please go away somewhere," she rejected the college student type with surprisingly clear articulation. The college student, completely unfazed by her cold words, consistently maintained a carefree attitude, saying, "It's fine, it's fine." That kind of healthy brightness, which suited his demeanor, combined with the light from the vending machine to sear itself onto half of my eyeballs.
"It's not like anything will wear out if I pop into the room for a bit. I'm not a thief or anything."
"My time with Mii-kun will decrease. You're in the way," Mayu doesn't yield. Well, it's not like Mayu has anything to yield to anyone other than Mii-kun.
"Alright, I get it! Okay, then I'll keep a suuuper long distance! I'll recreate the distance between me and my unrequited crush!" Zuzazaza, he shuffled backward, dragging the soles of his feet, and in the process, revealed something rather melancholic. The distance, far from being modest, was considerably wide and rather heartbreaking.
"Is that okay then?" I asked Mayu. She didn't turn around, nor did she seem to care. It's one of Mayu's virtues that she doesn't mind any aversion as long as it's out of her sight. She really doesn't have that gaze pressure. Always the shortest, straight line to Mii-kun.

Forming a party that felt like it had six or seven people between us and our "companion," we walked quickly, with no mental capacity to spare for theatrics like deliberately scuffing our soles on the carpet to make noise, and arrived in front of room 1701 at the end of the hall. The college student type, trailing far behind, had stopped near the vending machine and was looking down at something. Probably the cat from earlier.
The fact that the phone was still ringing inside the room—that persistence alone I had to praise. The persistence of both the phone and the person calling. Looking closely at the doorknob, I saw a "Currently Sleeping" sign hanging there. *Liar,* I thought, a sentiment I really shouldn't entertain. If someone was still sleeping through this, they were dead. I inserted the card key into the door with my right hand. A red light came on, so I pulled it out and reinserted it. This time, a green light illuminated, and the lock disengaged.

It's been a while since I entered someone's room without permission. Just about a year ago, at Ma-chan's house, I guess.
The card key doesn't choose its master; it opens the gates for me too. Pulling the door wider than usual, careful not to let Mayu's feet bump against it, I slipped my body into the room. I didn't bother with considerations for the person scheduled to enter after me and left the door as it was.
What awaited me there was not what I didn't want to see... or rather, there was no such dramatic development. Moderately used and rumpled bedsheets, an open suitcase, and scattered clothes. A bath towel was also tossed on the floor, giving the impression of a room occupied by a man staying alone.
And, directly ahead, an open window. *Careless,* I thought, simultaneously recalling that suspicious person from before. The one who was being stepped on like a turtle in a reality where Urashima Tarou doesn't come to the rescue—I wondered if he lived in this room.
"Hey, move it a little—not like it'd understand. This is why animals are..."
Thinking the instruction from behind was directed at us, I turned around. It wasn't. The college student type and, for some reason, the cat from earlier had moved to the vicinity of the doorway. However, the moment our eyes met, the cat darted off down the hallway. I wondered if it was the pet of the person staying in this room.
Perhaps it slipped out the open window and is wandering around the hotel. A human and a cat, one of each. As its owner, I'm frankly demonstrating the effect, aren't I? Just a guess, though.

The college student type said, "Excuse meee," a perfunctory greeting directed vaguely at us, and entered the room. He stopped once and shook his head left and right, but then seemed to spot what he was looking for and crouched down by the window. There was a small refrigerator and a pair of large shoes.
There were countless small scratches on a bag; I wondered if the cat from earlier had made them. I thought about telling him not to touch the shoes, but then reconsidered, thinking it might make me look suspicious. I decided to lower my guard a notch, intervening only if he started messing with things too much.
The college student type pushed the bag aside, opened the refrigerator, and reached inside. No sorcerer hiding in there, it seemed. But what was *that* hiding from, I wondered.
"Y'know, the fridge in my room isn't cooling too well. So I wanted to compare, see if everyone else's is like that... Ah, no good. This seems to be the standard."
The college student type gave me a resigned laugh and made an "I give up" gesture. In response, I imitated a jumbled good luck charm that looked like a maneki-neko carrying a turtle shell on its back—something likely to bring good fortune. Well, it wasn't so much a response as it was just my standard state. Am I, who doesn't force Mayu to utilize her two legs, perhaps spoiling her too much? Personally, I think I maintain a fairly moderate relationship with Mayu. Strictly subjective, of course.

Drawn by the sound, I found the mobile phone placed by the bedside pillow. "Ah, leaving the phone ringing is a pain," I muttered absently, then exhaled and bent my knees as if sinking into water. Living with Mayu on my back is tough. It's double the effort. But if I can take on Mayu's share of the trouble, it's more than I could ask for. This doesn't feel like a lie.
And so, I picked up the body of the mobile phone with my fingertips. The LCD showed a number and the registered name "Eko." I mentally added "-zu." How I pronounced it is a secret. Don't try to imitate it; you might destroy your tongue. Adding "-ru" is also forbidden. Anyway, well, it doesn't matter.
I don't care if the caller is from an environmental protection group, a foreigner, or a spy from an intelligence agency, but the problem is that this person is a phone maniac. No one's answering, and above all, it's impossible for them to know the situation around where they're calling.
Just because you don't know doesn't mean you're excused. Are you listening, you and me?
"Unless an arrow of blame labeled 'I won't forgive you' is pointed at me, it's none of my business, though." And so, timing it for when the ringing stopped, I turned off the power without the owner's permission. The curtain fell on the LCD. I placed it on the pillow and prayed for its peaceful sleep.

Well, objective achieved. The noise is off to dreamland. My lifespan has also been extended. Never mind the latter.
Since we don't know when the real occupant of the room will return, let's make a quick exit. At this point, we're not much different from burglars.
"We're leaving the room, are you done with your business?"
The college student type, who had his head stuck in the refrigerator, pulled his body back to respond to us.

"Hm? Going out again right away?"
"Yeah. We were thinking of going to the coffee shop for some cake."
"Huh. In that case, you should really close the window. How careless."
The college student type pointed at the window with an exasperated smile. I see, true. Ignoring this would be unnatural for someone staying in this room. A mistake on my part in that regard. The college student type closed the window for me.

And then, a phone rang again. *What the—?!* I started to turn, but it was a signal meant for someone else. Phew, it's not that I'm rapidly developing phone neurosis with bells ringing in my head... but now that I've sighed in relief, what am I supposed to do?
The phone was calling the college student type. Suddenly acting suspiciously, he jumped in front of the window, nearly ramming his head into the glass. "Whoa, it's here!... Uh, no, it's nothing! Excuse me a sec... or rather, I'm done here, so see ya!" He scurried out of the room, bent over like a cat on all fours.
Following him, we also left the room. Just before exiting, as I passed the bathroom door, I paused for a moment but refrained from opening it. Well, just because.

The auto-lock re-staged room 1701 as a perfect sealed chamber. Now, what to do with this card key? With this, I now possess a total of three: '1701', '1702', and the numberless card key still stuck in my own room's door. It's not like stacking them will reveal a treasure map or anything; they're too much to handle.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Ma-chan," I apologized, concluding that I should just turn in the card key at the front desk, saying I found it.
"You really kept me waiting." She kneed me in the side and swayed left and right. ...If my clone, or rather, her, who seems like the original of me, the clone, were here, she would have mercilessly belted out "Theme of the Monkey" to liven things up. No, it's just, Mayu right now, yeah...

Something moved at the edge of my vision. I checked out of the corner of my eye. A woman, presumably a cleaning staff member, dressed in a light blue and white vertically striped uniform, emerged from a door that wasn't a guest room. She was pushing a cart laden with cleaning supplies and linens. *She's coming this way, perfect timing,* I thought. Ah, but right now, I have Mayu attached to me, like someone who'd die if their back was seen. Is this bad? No, but on second thought, it would be a pain if the front desk staff remembered my face. If the guest from room 1701 received the "lost" card key, returned to their room, and noticed something had changed inside, we'd be the first ones suspected. At the very least, I need to get rid of the card key with the room number on it, so I'll just gently palm it off on the cleaning lady. Quickly, before Mayu's imperial wrath strikes deep. Or so I thought, but being the self-proclaimed contrarian I am, I abruptly changed who I was going to give it to.
The cat was still under the vending machine, idly swaying its head and tail, so after a moment's thought, I gently offered the card key to its mouth. A pet cat would more likely be forgiven for trespassing and theft.
The cat snatched the edge of the card key (bakuri!) and retreated further into the darkness, curling up. My life with my little sister, who resists when I try to pull off her blanket and whose heels fly around, didn't particularly come to mind.
When the cleaning lady passed us, she tilted her head curiously but we exchanged vague nods.

And then, for some reason, Mayu sank her front teeth into my head. Was I going to be gnawed on, or have my brains sucked out? The answer was the former. "Gaji-gaji." "Gyaa-gyaa." If I were to describe this exchange simply and for all ages, it would be like that. For ages twelve and up, it would be "Gatsu-gatsu," and for fifteen and up, "Guchii."
Somehow obtaining Mayu's permission, we resumed our advance... and just as we were about to pass room 1702, "Ah!" I was struck as if by a revelation, became aware of what I myself must do, and in order to make this world circulate appropriately, I resolved to retrieve it from oblivion. "I forgot my wallet."
*Tch.*

Ma-chan's teeth "gaji-gaji'd," lecturing me in place of a verbal scolding. "Sorry, sorry, lately my head's been full of dreams." I had no idea what I was saying myself, but I couldn't stop the dominoes from falling. "Hyufweffwe hya ni?" *What are dweems?* she asked, fangs still embedded in my head. *There's no such thing!* "The founding of Ma-chan Land." Hmm, my words are full of dreams, at least.
While Mayu rejoiced with "Nyo-wa nyo-wa" and engaged in a flurry of biting, I slipped back to our room. I used the card key to get inside, and the middle-aged man smoking... didn't come as part of a set this time. I scanned the room, searching for my wallet. Rummaging through my own room. Because I'd even forgotten where I put it.
"Fai fai Mii-fun," Mayu seemed to tease: Wandering Mii-kun. Her feet were fidgeting as if to say, "I can't wait any longer!" "I'd like to meet those expectations, but... hmmm." *Seriously, where is it?* Bending down is a pain, but I made an effort and rummaged through my luggage. ...Oh, there it is. It seems I dropped it on the floor while I was kicking that middle-aged man. "Found it!" "Ohyo~i!" It sounded like she was saying "You're slow," but it also sounded like she was joyfully exclaiming "Oho~i," so I decided to go with the latter. That's a lie.
It's a bit of a digression, but I was struck by the urge to urinate, so I decided to take care of that while I was at it. "Ma-chan, okay, get down." "Gyuu." If only that sound effect indicated her arms, but the subject was her teeth. Biting, biting, piercing my head so much I felt like I was about to stop being human. A non-detachable Ma-chan isn't wonderful. Feeling something like blood on my head, I somehow managed to pry Mayu off and place her on the bed. "What!" Mayu thrashed about, agitated. "I'm going to the toilet, wait." "Ma-chan can go with you!" "No, you can't!" "Society's gaze is harsh~. Makes no sense, though~." As if to gloss it over, I ran and dashed into the toilet.

*Hah.* The bathroom description got blown away. A new type of Stand attack, perhaps?
When I came out after finishing in the toilet, Mayu was breathing softly in her sleep... I was typing that joke on my mental keyboard, but Mayu really *was* sleepy, so oh dear. I considered letting her sleep for a moment, but factoring in the possibility of me being eaten (in a bad way) after she woke up, I shook her shoulder.
Fortunately, Mayu must have been sleeping lightly this time, as she woke up immediately and— "Ugaa—" —sank her fangs into my head again. With Mayu on my back, and this time with my wallet in hand, I left the room. All in all, I'd wasted over five minutes, so Mayu looked quite furious. To quell this anger, I felt a sense of mission for these legs of mine to get her some sugar quickly. That was a slight lie.

"Oh?" The college student type from earlier had appeared near the bend in the hallway at some point and seemed to be on the phone. I gave a light nod as he came into view and walked past.
In front of the elevator were that Luigi-san couple. The girl was mashing the elevator's up button to kill time.
Seems we're on the same floor. Can't help but feel a sense of fate, by the name of artificiality.
Luigi-san noticed us. He looked at Mayu, who was gnawing on me, with an expression full of "What in the world is that?" emotion. It wasn't overt hostility, but though he tolerated it, he seemed to avoid mentioning it. Averting his gaze, he greeted me with a "Hey."
"Thanks for earlier. ... Uh, going out?" I asked, glancing at the girl's back.
"Yeah, Touki... this kid said she wants cake, so we're off to the coffee shop for a bit."
"Huh. Us too, actually."
And so, the girl's name was revealed to be Touki. However, since both the kanji and pronunciation were unclear, I decided to continue referring to her as "the girl" in my mind. There are no other young girls among the characters, so it should be fine. I have no idea what I'm talking about, though. The girl made no attempt to look at me or Mayu. Over an hour had passed since then; had she thrown out her interest with the trash in the meantime? For me, it was both a great help and like having twenty percent of my thoughts remain caught in an unresolved haze, making my stomach acid churn.

Partway there, the college student type, who seemed to have finished his phone call, came running up. He reached the front of the elevator, looking nervous but unable to suppress a grin.
A period of silence, humming, and button-mashing (the girl) flowed by, and eventually, the elevator descended to the seventeenth floor.
"Oh, here it comes, here it comes. Let's get on, let's get on."
The college student type, who had clearly swapped out all five cards in his hand of moods from before, cheerfully took the lead into the ascending and descending box. I wondered if his goal had simply been to ride the elevator somewhere. Following him, the girl hopped in with a little jump. "Come on, Luigi, hurry up! You never press the B button to live, that's why you can never lead an exciting, leap-forward kind of life!"
Luigi-san and I somehow exchanged glances. Just now, I'd caught the scent of someone in the same position as me emanating from him. Perhaps it was the same for him. Luigi-san, giving an awkward, wry smile, and I, shrugging my shoulders, lined up amicably and boarded the elevator.

The group descended from the seventeenth floor to the lobby. During that time, the college student type had become quiet, as if he'd forgotten how he'd interfered with us earlier. *Pong,* a sound chimed, and we arrived without incident.
The college student type, walking with his right hand and right foot moving in unison, was the first to dash out. Luigi-san pressed the 'Open' button and silently gestured for me to go ahead, so I nodded and disembarked first. In the hall outside, two women, who looked like sisters with a slight age gap, were quickly approaching the college student type. Was he meeting up with girls? Impressive, to have a flower in both hands so quickly. What a Hanasaka Boy. The boy himself seemed to be frozen mid-pose in a friendly stance, but I deliberately ignored that and praised him to the skies. Also, for some reason, I felt that the older, sister-like woman carried an atmosphere similar to Mayu in her slender shoulders. An illusion, though.

We headed in the opposite direction from the front desk and entered the coffee shop. Luigi-san's couple entered at the same time. Looking up at the classic wall clock near the entrance, it was just approaching three-thirty. Both couples replied "two customers" and were shown to their seats by the waitress.
Deeper in the shop, there were two sets of customers, both appearing to be mother-child pairs with absent fathers. Luigi-san's couple sat down at a table near them. Mayu and I took a table at the edge of the coffee shop.
At the next table, a man was devouring beef curry all by himself. Dressed casually in a white T-shirt, jeans, and barefoot in beach sandals, the man, who looked to be around my age or slightly older, was savoring a scent completely out of sync with the surrounding cakes and coffee, like someone deliberately walking in the middle of a heavy downpour without an umbrella. His inability to read the room was such that it was a wonder he wasn't wearing a headband emblazoned with "Die, stupid couples!" His eyes had a bad look to them, though in a different way from mine. He was glaring at the tabletop with his eyes narrowed so much it seemed like he couldn't see anything but his eyelids.
The man thrust a small dish laden with fukujinzuke and pickled shallots towards Luigi-san, who had just taken his seat, saying, "Just right."
"Eat this for me, I hate it. I came here for curry, not to order pickles. If I wanted to eat them, I'd order them separately. This is as idiotic as a tonkatsu place serving a mountain of cabbage."
"Um, you see..." Luigi-san said, his face perplexed as he clutched the wet towel he'd received from the waitress.
However, his confusion wasn't severe, so it seemed this wasn't a request from a complete stranger.
"You can count this as part of your job."
The man, completely ignoring the other's reaction, pushed the small dish forward with a smile and turned back to his curry. The white rice was already gone from his plate, and he was now in the state of sipping only the curry sauce. He still looked quite pleased.
But what is Luigi-san's job, I wondered. Looking after others? People call that volunteering.

My left hand and Mayu's right, bound by the red string that symbolized our artificial fate, lay openly on the table. The waitress who came to take our order witnessed it, and her right cheek clearly twitched. When you leave that town, you almost start to delude yourself that the world is surprisingly full of common sense. Among my acquaintances, the ones who belong to the "normal" category are... Fushimi and Nagase, I guess. They each have some "Hmm? Hmm?" concerning their eccentricities and pasts, but their personalities are sound. It must be hard for them to live, I think. How did Mayu and I live back when we were normal? It's not even preserved in black-and-white memories. Was I really alive before I woke up from fainting in that basement?

Vaguely listening to Luigi-san's couple two tables away, and the two mother-child pairs next to them, chattering and occasionally shouting, Mayu and I stared at each other in silence. Conversations with Mayu don't last long outside, you see. Even at home, Japanese often doesn't quite work between us. The two cake sets we ordered arrived surprisingly quickly. Mayu had coffee, and I had black tea.
And so, the tarte aux fraises I ordered was placed in front of Mayu, and Mayu's Mont Blanc was placed before me. As holders of the Stupid Couple Skill, Second Rank Intermediate, there's no way we'd cut the cake with our own forks and munch on it ourselves. We spear a bite-sized piece of cake and bring the fork to the other's mouth. Naturally. It barely needs describing. Because I find it somewhat embarrassing. Ugh, the other customers are staring. Couples doing this in public are rare these days. As a fellow stupid couple, I'd like to scold them to know some shame, but I refrain since they wouldn't talk back anyway.
Mayu carefully licked the cream off the cake, leaving only the biscuit base. The strawberries were also removed. After adjusting it to my preferred, less-sweet taste, she brought it to my lips. If I convinced myself that the cream had simply evaporated due to her over-enthusiastic care, I was super happy. As a result of this forced self-conviction, I even managed to say, "Thanks."
Mayu enjoys the "raw" taste, while I savor the cake with its flavor worn down by her handiwork. It's finished with a faint sweetness and an elegant flavor. Yeah, not quite satisfying.
However, in a relationship built on lies, being honest is surely not permissible.
Mayu arbitrarily snatches the very essence of the tarte aux fraises—the "tarte" part—or the "cake" part of the "cake set," and makes me "munch, gulp, aaahn, yummmy" what amounts to just the vinegared rice in sushi. That's fine, because I can't eat raw things. The conclusion was clearly pulled from an abnormal drawer, but I'll believe this is the correct answer and chew on it. Both this cake-like thing and the problems yet to come.

"Hey Luigi, feed me with 'aaahn'."
"Sure... Eh, my cake? Well, okay, but..."
Something started up two tables over. Luigi-san cut his hot apple pie into a bite-sized piece and, amidst giggles and flirtatious cooing, fed it to the girl's mouth. The single man caught between them sipped oolong tea through a straw, feigning indifference. However, his closed eyelids and the area around them were clenched more than necessary, increasing the wrinkles.
"Okay, okay, okay, now open your mouth like when you go to the dentist!"
"Eh, the dentist? No way..."
"It's fine, yuaan, yuyoon..." Something's off. And it's spreading further.
Three tables over, a mother was "hagu-hagu" feeding cake to her daughter. Though the mother looked like she was enjoying it more than the daughter.
"Eh, what? Do you *have* to eat like that here?"
Mother No. 2 was bewildered by the shameless antics of the three groups. "Mom, want me to 'aaahn' you?" her daughter asked. "No... Hmm, no, I think I'm done being easily swayed, really. *You* do the 'aaahn'."
Deceived, swayed, established. The girl leaned over the table, and as her mother offered the strawberry tart on a fork like feeding a baby bird, she gobbled it with an "Nn-aahmu." She looked incredibly happy.